Bleh dealing with Him

Dear Diary,

Just got response back from Ex.

“Vicky,

4 will be fine. Lets make it at the court house if you want to go buy the paper work.

I would like to amend the paper work from after school on Friday, till Sunday 6:45, every other weekend; and then also on every Wednesday night. I hope that you don’t have any problems with that. We’ll see how things go. I need to find a house before that happens. I did see look at on right across the street from their school…

4pm in the parking lot of the court house (facing the Post Office) will be fine.

Hey I am going to get their hair cut also.”

BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Have I said how I hate dealing with him?

Dear Lord, looking at houses right across the street from the school? Wouldnt that be just wonderful huh?

I have to stop here for a second. And say some things to myself.

My ex is good at talking.

First off, he needs a job. Maybe he is working now? I dont really know how he has money to be honest.

But secondly, the man doesnt even know how to pay bills on time. Perfect example of how responsible he is?

I get loan applications and credit card solicitors in the mail all the time for him and I. I just throw that stuff out. His mail finally. I forwarded everything to his Moms. Then I just started writing “Not at this address” on envelopes and return to sender. Why on earth is he having mail come HERE? There is no reason. I would put in a change of address card FOR him but right now he is on the mortgage so not until that is severed will I do so.

So yesterday I had a pile of Home equity loan applications, credit cards, car insurance company solicitor mails, I just rip them in half and throw them away. Well as I was ready to rip one, I went ah what the heck and read it. It was some car insurance company.

Well come to find out it was for a car accident( Another one?) and they were saying that with their investigation they have found he was not insured at the time of the accident and they want him to pay $600 or so dollars to the person he hit. And if he does not do so he can have his driving privileges suspended in this state.

I really wonder how much financial damage and god knows what else is going on out there. But why on earth did it come to the house? He hasnt lived here in almost 2 years. So my Mom says “Well he must have not updated his drivers license?” Ugh who knows. She said “Vicky I have a feeling you are going to be getting more mail”

And my sister told me to stop doing all the work with the lawyers. Like about him wanting to amend the visitation. Right now he doesnt even have a place, hes staying in his cousins apartment. She is one of those “White power” people who doesnt believe in mixing races or something. So yeah great place for the kids, plus theres just no room there.

And I know his credit has to be a mess right now. With the notices and accidents, and tickets, and late payments and god knows what else he has done.

He talks at me like he has it so together. Its an act. I still want to believe him at times, but evidence shows otherwise.

My sis said “If he wants the paperwork changed. LET HIM PAY for it. You do all the work, you worry about everything, he doesnt like dealing with this stuff Vicky, so dont do anything” So if he really wants papers amended, he will have to arrange to do all that. Why should I pay to write up new papers and do all that? And pretty much I wont budge on what it was initially anyways. Im not sending them off Wed nights in the middle of the week on a night they both have homework. It will be too disruptive for them. And my ex has never been one to be a help with school work. When he last was here he couldnt even get them to school on time when I MADE him take them a few times.

So I will stand firm on what the paperwork says. The times are the typical visitation times that are laid out.

The only thing I can gather is my ex may have borrowed money from his Mom or he has talked her into lending him money to get a place. Who knows? They are both nuts.

I just pray to God to help me. That I dont have that man close here messing up our lives. He has not changed. And Im trying to keep my kids lives as stable as possible, I dont need him mentally toying with us all.

When we got home yesterday there was a bag hanging on my screen door. It was from Ex’s Uncle and their daughter. It was cookies for the kids. 🙂

I do like them. I do like his Uncle. So I will need to go by and thank them, it was a very nice thought. I do not really know what they think of ex, this uncle has known us since we dated and has always liked me and knows my ex acts like an idiot. They worked together when we dated and so he knows my ex and his irritational/controlling behavior. And he intervened last year when my ex was acting all crazy with me. I could hear him telling him to chill out and calm down and asking him why he was making a big deal out of things in the background. And this uncle married his Moms sister, so he is the Brother in Law, just married into the family. So I think there is just some common understanding that is unspoken between us. He knows Im a responsible person, and has admired me and my family.

On another note, I got a letter in the mail from a girlfriend I havent spoken to since my separation! I was shocked to hear from her. She asked about him. Little does she know, wait till she hears(she was in my wedding)But I was thrilled to hear from her, its been awhile and I do miss her. She lives in WA.

I gave out my number to a woman from group yesterday. I have been giving it out more, havent formed any real great friendships yet or much contact outside, but she seemed very interested and gave me hers back and said we should go see a movie.

So heres hoping. Im ready to have girlfriends around. 🙂