My Lil Reflection
Dear Diary,
Im kinda just here today. Im not feeling all overly into the rembrance thing today. Not that I dont mind it, just that Im not actively seeking to be a part if that makes any sense? Kids are singing some patriotic songs in school today and all wearing red, white and blue.
I was listening to a guy on Rick Dees this AM on my way to work who was in the World Trade Center and got out before they collapsed. He was with another man who was blind with his seeing eye dog. Just hearing him tell how it was, he and the blind man were caught up in the first cloud of smoke that filled the streets when the first tower collapsed. He talked about the noise, the sounds of the building coming down and how he just felt instinct to run and he did, realizing he left the blind man behind who couldnt just run. He went back and got him.
As people relive there stories of where they were on 9/11. I was nervously waiting for my ex to be served a restraining order and thought that he had been served and the reason he called me that morning. Finding out later on the events that transpired. In some way for me its not really a good memory, not that 9/11 was a good memory, but the fact that is brought ex and I to talking again and where I backed off and let him back in my life mainly due to the events of that day.
I dunno, just weird to think on for me.
I then went to work and everyone was glued to news reports and the boss had his tv on. Later he just sent us all home early.
I went through a box of cards and postcards about a month ago while cleaning my office. My girlfriend who lives in NY had sent me a few postcards YEARS ago. And there is one in my box with the World Trade center at night with all the lights of the city. I havent spoken to her in MONTHS. I should write her. She met her boyfriend at a dance club on the top floor of the world trade center so it was very saddening to them to see what happened since it was a symbol and place of where they fell in love.
It seems I get home home from work each day, Im tired, I am not motivated to do much, yet my mind is telling me to do so many things, and my body just wants to lay there. Its better then insomnia which I rarely have probs with anymore, just now and then when Im extremely worried maybe. But I have found being active and in the gym several days a week helps me to sleep well. Last night I was asleep before 10:30. Not much communication with B. I called him but had to go and call him back but his roomies daughter was on the phone. Not sure if he ever got my message or just couldnt call back? But as far as I know he never called.
I was missing him yesterday. Just wanting to hold him type feelings I guess. He had been taking a nap. So we talked briefly he was sharing some weird dream he had about being with some drug dealer and some dog trying to hump everyones leg. haha interesting eh?
Well guess thats all for now.