Miss Attn and Thankful

Dear Diary,

Im missing boyfriends closeness at the moment. Im missing feeling thought of and wanted. Hes in computer land Im guessing, thats how he gets when hes into some new thing that he has learned about his computer. He gets very focused and sort of goes into Puter Nerd. I just feel strange, Its been since Sunday hes been like this. No emails, no phone calls, he signs offline without saying goodbye, he seems distracted when I call.

I just miss his attention. 🙁

I went to check my email. I had to notify my boss of my apointments tommorow. One with Therapist, one with Attorney, that I will be in late. And warned my boss that this month Im dealing with attorney and legal appointments during my work hours.

I found an email from the boss that said “Thursday Everyone lunch is on me” it brought a smile to my face. It made me sit and reflect, sure there is no perfect thing(other than God) But I have to count my blessings. I feel like crying. More a thank you cry, a gratefullness cry.

Here is the story of my Job, its quite fascinating how it came about.

My Ex worked for a company for several years, he was hired to do a job for this company. And the boss duo wife portion chose my Ex because his name was the same as her sons. She believes in signs and all sorts of things. So my Ex worked for them. I peeked in now and then as he was doing work for their business. He spent so many hours there, doing so much, we then were invited to a big party. A game night, things like that. I was quiet and tagged a long not knowing anybody. I was shy and in the background. Later on at the end of 2000 my ex was talking with the boss wife, she was mentioning needing someone to do a certain job and my ex said “My Wife” so he came home and told me, now mind you he had been talking to me about working as a secretary at his job, but that didnt pan out and I wasnt really interested in that one, and I felt often it was hype, it wouldnt pan out. Well she calls him one day a few mos later asking if Im still interested. I say yes. So I immediatly go to meet her and she slowly starts to train me, get me familiar, spend hours with me one on one 2 days a week. I started small, on a trial basis, few hours a day.

We also began to build a friendship through all of this. More of her as a mother type, mentor role. She spoke higly of my ex, loved him dearly. Meanwhile I was dealing with the pain at home that nobody knew about. And I couldnt dare tell any of these people. They love him! He got me the job! Im new around here!

So I worked there for 3 mos when we did separate. Of course they were sad, but they were also supportive. And one day I broke down, and the gates were opened and people soon spoke to me, I told my story, and they embraced me still. I had feared somehow he would get me somehow and I would loose this job. But I was told Im a vital part of the place, They love my ex, but if he does anything innapropriate there at work, he can easily burn his bridges. And they done excellent with this situation. They dont treat him badly. But they wont entertain his sympathy pleas when he visits either.

My bosses took me in in a vital time in my life, living alone, needing income, they believed in me, trained me, told me “Your kids come first” and allow me to take off for anything I need for my children or health or counseling. They give us all 3 hrs of vacation time a month which Ive been saving up! I have used some, mainly it came in handy when my kids were sick last year. They gave me health insurance at no charge this year, that made me just cry. I had thought I wouldnt get it until I went full time in another year or so. Now they are sending me on my first convention for a weekend this month. Which Im very excited about.

God has blessed me.