Todays Report

Dear Diary,


Well I slept from about 2:30am-8am. Ugh, kids woke me up and I couldnt go back to sleep, was thinking about the B stuff and getting angry so I couldnt sleep. Got up and showered early and played online in the chat room. B’s old gym buddy was on, the one he just went to Vegas with, and well we talked some last nite and today we were talking. Its been so long and its nice to talk to him again.

The chick hes had the hots for and has for years but has never met in person and him just had a falling out. Thats the chick I just told B I dont like a few weeks ago.


I also talked to this other guy last night and he said B likes the challange, Im no longer a challange, Im always available and wanting, ready, in so many areas, he doesnt have to work at much, he told me stop calling, stop being available, when he wants to see me tell him I have plans. He said ” I know games suck”


Is it a game? Its hard to make myself not want him or not want to be around him, yet I know its also good to back off and let each side alternate roles, I think its healthy. I guess I just wish if I were too much hed just say “I need you to back off because Im overwhelmed and its hard for me to be assertive” because I dont even know if thats what it is. But I was a challange when I was with my ex or going thru trying to emotionally end it and legally. Then when things were sucking, I ended it with B a few times, thats when he stepped up to the plate. It sucks like that ya know? People tell me, Let him see he can loose you.


Sigh, is that a game?


Im really pissed right now. I have no idea where he is. What hes been doing. Couldnt reach him last night. No call, nothing.


Jerk


Mr Comedy called me this AM. Hes in the middle of new roomate drama. He and a guy bought a house and are renting out 2 rooms, just picked up a chick from VA last night whos staying in the house, and well she hooked up with the other dude last night, so the other guy who owns the house isnt cool with that, said she shouldnt be hooking up and hes afraid its gonna create drama in the house. I told Mr Comedy, well at least your not the one who hooked up right?


Part of me wants to take off today with the kids, but with someone, so if opportunity presents itself I might. I have the spa party at 3, but right now its not so appealing to me I guess?


But I can always do that if theres nothing else. Mom said she will watch the kids if I go.


Well thats it for now, later!

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