Boyfriend and Group

Dear Diary,

Boyfriend and I spoke last night. I was laying in bed all evening, just spending time online doesnt have the same interest for me lately. I find myself not wanting to chat very much anymore these days. So I sat down and watched this Biography story on A&E or some channel about this Mother and Son crime team who are in jail right now. And all of the things the mother did that were illegal and brought her son up into this way of life. Now they are possibly being tried for another murder case and they said it could possibly give them the death penalty if this one is found guilty. I believe the last name was Kimes or something like that forget the spelling. But this woman just sought after people with money, married men, forged fake fires for insurance claims, signed over peoples property illegally, then they people turned up dead or missing, and she also brought in young women from Mexico to work in her home as “Slaves” she beat them, didnt pay them, didnt let them leave the home. It was just amazing all the crap this woman got away with.

After that I watched some Dateline special on a mother who took her child across country lines and a custody dispute between her Ex and her herself. She took off and hid the child for several years, she claims her daughter was molested by him and his son. Well after several years she was brought into custody and now the father has the child. Just sad stories and you always wonder what the real truth is behind it all? Because someone is lying, but who?

So this friday they are doing a story on “Living with the Enemy” Domestic abuse within your own home. Looks interesting.

So boyfriend called around 11pm. It was nice to hear him. He said to me “Well since Im not working tommorow night I think I could drive up there, and then just head out around 5am to work from your place. Can I just say how thrilled I was to hear that? With his new job and his schedule, our time together is limited right now. We are going on 2 weeks without seeing one another. He said ” Im sorry but I cant deal with this not seeing you for 2 weeks thing. It drives me crazy, I do like to see you you know?”

I guess in my head Im thinking “You miss sex is all”

Why do I do that? Im sure he misses sex, not like I dont? Its just its not at the top of my list of why I want to see him. He said ” I want to see you to hold you, to snuggle up to you at night, and of course I love to make love to you”

I told him how tired I am of this whole legal process, I wish it could just be over. Im still waiting for the attorneys office to call for me to come in and sign the order they are sending to him. They were supposed to have it done last week. Then she told me thursday shed have it done this week. No call yet, week is almost over, I called yest and left a message but didnt get a call back. So Im getting a little annoyed again.

Took the kids in for their kids group yesterday. I had to miss Mon due to the dr appt. My certificate was to be awarded for completing all the sessions. I know get to move up to the Intermediate group. So I saw my group facilitator. Hes so cool. I think Im going to go and pick a card out for him and say my thanks in it for all hes done, shared, and taught me. He said that he would like me to share with the group Mon. On what I have learned, how the place has helped me, etc, that its good for new women coming in to hear us graduates, and he said its also good for him to hear my feedback also to know what sort of impact they have had on us. 4 of us just graduated so we are the first since the program moved and was given new grants for funding. So im actually looking forward to sharing with the group.

So in the next week I will go into the next group with the graduates. We will tackle issues on a deeper level now. As far as domestic violence and our choice of relationships, why we chose the men we did, etc. Also Im going to start an Anger management class in 2 more weeks. Our facilitator recommended it to all of us, just because we lived in a abusive environment nor saw ourselves having anger problems like our ex’s does not mean we werent impacted. He said we also learned destructive methods to deal with our ex’s, so undoing all the old behavior. Learning new ways. Its free! Its learning, Its education! Anything is helpful!

Im not as angry today, I just felt so upset last night. I hate struggling financially. I like to keep some sort of control over my life, and well that doesnt always happen. I prayed last night and asked God for help, for me to remain patient and see what is to come, not worry about a month ahead, since I have no idea what things will be like then, today has enough of its own to deal with. But it is tough at times. Im a person who likes to be prepared. So its difficult when I have no cushion or plan with a date before me.