Finding Female Friends?
Dear Diary,
Ahhhh back so soon? Why yes I am. Im a freaking nut job today in my head! I need to vent my inner demons here.
Like I said Im emotional today. Boyfriend hasnt really spoke to me all AM online. I listen to him and all the chat room buddies plan lunch today, and I guess I just get pissy that Im not invited. I feel left out. Nobody even asks me. And why should they I have children!
Sorry Im in just a really crappy mood at this Moment. Doesnt mean I feel this why by the end of the day.
So Im gonna just let some anger pour out right now, some probably meaningless venting but its needed.
Im so fucking sick and tired of my one long time girlfriend always trying to talk me into fucking sales parties. Everything under the sun she has sold, and then starts up each new sales venture and calls me and I never buy anything or say Yes. But she still CALLS AND ASKS! And she always trys some new approach. Now shes a freakin Mary Kay Lady and wanted me to come over for a facial today. I said Ok when she asked me cause if I said no she didnt listen to me anyways. I told her I dont use the stuff and Im not buying anything. She said that was fine she just wanted my opinion on the makeup?? Yeah right Im not stupid! Why cant you just be a damn friend and TALK. Why is it always SELL SELL SELL!
Then my other girlfriend in town who I love spending time with and we have gone out now and then on occassion and I always have a blast, well she has a weight and health problems. She keeps telling me she needs to exercise. Ive offered to go walking, to go to gym with her, all the above. She just doesnt wanna. Fine. Her health is suffering and she doesnt do anything about it, so I have to hear constant stories about what is going on with her health that is negative.
My other girlfriends are all married now and out of state. So even having them to hang out just isnt an option. How on earth do I get out of this frustrating rut Im in with friendships and people to spend time with with my children? Why do I have such a problem with this??????
Then theres my childhood friends whos kids are in same school as mine. She always tells me “CALL ME!” when she sees me, so I call her now and then , get her machine and leave a message. No call ever returned. Only time I see her is after school getting kids, one day she is happy and wants to talk, next day she is like on some other planet and in her own world. I was talking to boyfriend about this. It seems I always have to be the one whos got it more together, who is there for them to vent on and ask for help from, but when it comes time to reciprocrate they just dont know how, and I wouldnt even bother. Boyfriend and I have that in common, he said to me “Hmmmm do you know how many people I know that I might call in the middle of the night if I was really having a bad time in my life? ZERO he said. I understood, he then said “well I might call you”
🙂 Just as I call him, but I think its important to have outside friendships. I have more of aquantances. What happened to good close girlfriends? What is wrong with me????? Why am I struggling in this area? Why cant I just meet someone who is healthy? Or do I have something keeping that from happening and I just get people who are screwed up and selfish and only around when they need me.
Do I have to put up some freaking Ad?” Single Mom of 2 looking for female with children who loves to exercise? Takes kids out on outings, have over nighters together and spend eves talking and acting silly after kids go to bed?
BLAH!