Loving your Man

I find that its harder now for me to talk to people then it was before.

I dont want to trash talk and ruin my partners reputation. I do need to talk or vent with a trusted friend or counselor, but like my ex, during that relationship. i didnt give a RIP what I said to whomever.

I simply didnt like him and still dont like a lot about him and have no problem stating it. I was not protective, I guess the respect was gone, or was it ever there to begin with. But I had no problem telling people what a jerk he was.

Now I find myself wanting to guard my man, granted I want to talk when hes upset me at times with a friend but I dont want a bitch session of “Oh huney kick his ass the curb, what a jerk” and all of that.

I want to get it out but I still love him….

Im more sad

Sad by the conflicts at times and the ways they go,,, but ultimately I want the best for this person even when they have hurt me…. maybe that changes? Maybe not, but for now hes hurt me greatly and Ive cried many tears, Im afraid, afraid of what the future does or does not hold,

Im afraid of losing a person I really do love.

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