Sucky Dads Cont..

So last night as B and I sat in bed and talked, we just mulled over kids, fathers, Dr. Laura phone calls, all types of things.

I told him about this call of a mom, her daughter was having oral sex, mom found out via her daughters cell phone text message and confronted the daughter and it was with another boy in band, so she urged her to pull her daughter out of band and go speak to the boys mother too.

Anyways, she also had this caller and basically said “When you husband gets home, I want HIM not you to sit with your 14 yr old daughter and have him tell her what 14 yr old boys are thinking and want from a girl at that age” and she prefaced that her husband had to be the one to do that.

Which resulted in B saying “Man, if I had to have that talk with a teen girl, id scare her so bad shed never want to date a boy, shed be crying, id do emotional damage”

Anyways, that just resulted in B reflecting over his situation, not having a father, and his mom saying he was Dead, and then when he was around 12 I think is when he truly died and she told B “He really is dead now, but before that I lied” and how pissed off B was.

But he said when he and his mom had that sit down talk about 2 yrs ago at Christmas, he expressed his hurt to her over all that. She apologized, told him she was too blame also, he said “Mom, I didn’t have delusions that my Dad was some great man, regardless of the choice that you made not to have him in our lives or pursue it legally doesn’t mean he couldn’t have tried to see us or have a relationship with us himself, he could have.” And said he never had a fantasy of a Dad in his head, that he found other men in life to look up too and said he did a lot of personal soul searching.

But I told B that isnt the norm a lot of kids have the fantasy of the parent they never had and longing for it. B said he has always had the approach of speaking blunt and truthfully, not mincing words, but he knows that emotionally my kids would not be able to handle that, and that B would look like a villian and all that. But B told me its really hard and he bites his tongue, and I said I understood. But that the kids will come to a point of understanding but I feel like I make it too easy also, that they need to know more, be exposed to more, but how exactly?

They just seem to forgive and excuse Dad easily with no prob and accept his lies and excuses no prob.

But Im not in their heads either.