Called The Ex
Dear Diary,
Well I just called the ex.
Hes crying I could barely understand half of what he said…
What I did make out…
How his girlfriend cheated on him friday night and how its happened to him AGAIN, how he just wants to end his life right now that I just dont understand and that I did this to him and hurt him and that I dont know how bad I hurt him and that he just wants to hear me say sorry.
<:::::::::yawn::::::::::
Im not sure where his head has gone, but hes so hung up that I cheated on him and thats what happened to us, yes I ran off towards the end when things were bad and was messing around with a guy, yes I wanted out of the marriage, yes he had been abusive and controlling and sadistic and abusive to me sexually, but nevermind that part, nevermind that he was fooling around also,,, but it seems to be me that was the bad one.
I seriously just said “Look, we both did crap, we both hurt one another, you act like you were the only hurt one, thats the past, Im calling you now because my concern is our kids, and you getting your act together or your going to loose seeing them”
He cried, said he cant make any money, said he doesnt make hardly anything, that his vehicle is unregistered and wont pass smog.
Said that he knows he doesnt pay any child support but he at least can see his kids and thats the one thing he can do. I said “Well your going to loose that do you know this?”
I told him I cant count on him to be responsible, a good role model, a involved parent.
He cried and told me his girlfriend isnt a bad lady, blah blah blah. I said “If shes hitting her kid, on meds for who knows what and cutting herself, you dont need to be there and I cant let the kids go there”
He said he has nowhere to go, I suggested his relatives ( he has tons, I know all of them in Cali) he said he doesnt want to go there, yada yada, I told him intsead of calling the police for his girlfriend call for himself if he wants to die(well then he backtracked the I wanna die statement)
He said he can basically go live at his moms up north. I said “Thats the only place you can go? Like that will be better with that sickness there?”
Anyways, he just cried like a baby, said everything he does he fails at, blamed me for hurting him…
And yeah part of me wants to be sympathetic, but for what reason? I did that for years, thats how I stayed with him for so long cause he was a constant damn victim, and I said “Right now your focus needs to be getting your act together for your kids, a job and a place of your own or your going to loose seeing them”
Sigh….
I just dont have the patience anymore for the pity party and the blame game and life isnt fair, its his job to pull his ass up out of this and stop crying about it.
This doesnt look good.