Continued Entry

Dear Diary,

Okay lets see if I can finish this up now…

I keep wanting to mention Hellcat and forget every dang time! I know you are selling books, I read somewhere you mentioned that you are paying shipping? Or did I read that wrong?

I sell through half.com, books, cds, vhs, dvds, used ones myself and they reimburse you shipping fees also, so just wasnt sure if you were selling through a site that offers that also. If not thought Id mention it to you!

When I was was going to the Domestic Violence group, money was tight at home, divorce, working, not getting support, attny fees, I was needing more money. Well one day I was with the counselor at the shelter and they got a big donation of books and were just giving them out to anyone who wanted them. My counselor said “Vicky, come here, take some books” I said “I took the ones I was interested in” She said “No Vicky, take all you want, sell them”

I didnt even think of that. So I took a pile home that day. I read somewhere which books sell better, namely information books. And there were several books computer related, with CD roms in them and such.

Omgosh! I put them up and got anywhere from $15-$40, and many sold within the first few days. Ive pretty much sold all those books now. So if you have books and things just sitting around collecting dust, try it! Theres no listing fee, no pics, no info to really type other then the ISBN # on the item and its all filled in for you, You just set the price and list the condition. And they show you price comparisons so it tells you how much this item has been selling for.

Well kids come home today, will be weird, feels so long since Ive seen them. Next friday I leave for Nashville with B! Wow, we are taking a trip, flying on a plane together, days together, renting a car, site seeing, exploring, visiting his friends, the place where he once lived.

I have not taken a vacation like this since my last trip to Iowa, and Ive never been to TN, other then a layover in the airport.

Funny to think back, I had a layover in TN when i was going to see my ex in Ohio I believe? I remember thinking of B as the plane landed, seeing all the greenery, thinking how this was B’s home, Starring out the window at the airport, I then went and called B.

Ahhh back in the days when I was so confused, and not sure wether to end the marriage or not. I thought so much of B when we were apart, when i tried to go back to Ex. I still called him, I thought of him so much.

I am not sure what is up with my Mind at the moment. But that last day talking to Gym Dude put me off.

First off I was seeing what B said “Vicky I think its guilt”

And how Gym Dude will just put this pressure and manipulative talk, and how he wants me and needs me, and telling me how I know more about him that anyone, and hows he never opened up before, how hes not wanted anyone, and on and on and on, and he does this A LOT when I talk to him. I just wanted to hang out and he just keeps going and going. Telling me Im beautiful to the point of me going OKAY ENOUGH! I mean its nice but its overboard.

And then the comments, things flash through my head, him saying he wont date a woman over 140 pds, if a woman cant fit in his jeans shes out. Granted Im smaller then he is, but what if I got larger? I dont know, stuff like that, yuck.

And him just picking at things about my body, joking but he does that alot and laughs.

Ive never had a man in my life who did that to me. Ive read on abuse forums of women whos partners do that. But as abusive as my ex was, he never made me feel ugly or any of that physically.

I would like to think it was the tripping of the switch in my head with Gym Guy. I dont know, but I wont be in the gym much or around him for the next few weeks, which might be a wise thing for me, give me some time and distance from him. Although I will probably see him today.

I have to go in! I ate that huge cake and drink last night,, eeeks!

B had a review at work and got great reviews, they said he is ready to move onto bigger and better things, it made him feel really good as he was burned out big time, and so that gave him a nice boost.

I need to mow my back yard this weekend, not gonna be easy! One side is really overgrown… but we have had all this off and on rain, so its been wet all the time, so hopefully I can get that done!

I told my sister if she wants to come and visit she is welcome, meaning however things play out with her husband. I will call her in a bit, she was meeting with an attny this AM and to find out her rights on things with the kids and the house and all.

Her husband comes home this weekend, his Bday is Sunday. How weird ya know?

When I went to their house at Christmas, my sister was in the midst of remodeling their bedroom, she had painted and bought all new things and they were going to order a new bedroom set with their tax return.

I dont want to see her screwed out of her stuff again like her first husband did. My sister left a 15 yr marriage with her car and clothes on her back. Had to start over totally.

On a positive aspect, their work(sis and hubby work for same company) will pay the fees for a divorce to a certain amount. Wow, never heard of that before!

Ive been wanting to get something for B, maybe soon I will, a nice pair of comfy lounge around flannel pajama type pants. He needs some, something comfy…. he will love them I know it! He loves the robe I got him at Christmas, now he just needs the pants. 🙂

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