Men Love Bitches

Dear Diary,

Ok HOLY COW! Im reading my book, it arrived “Why Men Love Bitches” and the title by the way is not referring to BITCH as mean , Joan Collins Dynasty Type. Its referring to self assured women who dont make a men the center of everything who dont overcompensate, etc etc

Ok Im telling you, its an AWESOME book!

Its like this whole other part of my mind is being opened. And I kid you not, I just had to put it down because most of it WORD FOR WORD! Like its as if B wrote the frickin book! I just read this part and I was like, “O My God, thats is B!”

This part says “A man will try to get you to be very accessible because its natural that hell want to make things more convenient for himself. And hell do so by saying hte folling to pressure you to accomodate him……

I dont like to plan things.

I like to be spontaneous”

I like to fly by the seat of my pants”

Ok I kid you not, I hear all 3 of those from B. When it comes down to trying to do something I get all of those answers WORD FOR WORD!

Okay heres some more stuff…

“If you make him feel he has plenty of space to do his own things , he’ll always feel that lust. Youll be like a lover not like his mother. He’ll percieve you as a privilege rather than an obligation, and he’ll come your way.

Ask yourself the following…

Ever have a pillow fight and notice that you and your partner are more turned on?

Ever notice that when you play wrestle with a man he gets all fired up?

Ever notice when a man steps over the line and you put him in his place, he gets turned on?

Ever wonder why the men you ARENT interested in wont stop chasing you?

When your dating someone and you dont pay attn to him, does he seem more intrigues and chase you even more?

Have you ever played with your pet and noticed that your man seems jealous?

Men are hunters and like any hunting animal, they are more intrigued by conquering prey when it resists the predator. Men are turned on by a bitch, because its a thrill to take down a powerful woman.”

A man falls in love with a woman when he feels he has “Met his Match”

(haha! Omgosh Jen! Down with Love movie quote!!!!!)

See the Movie Down with Love and you will get what Im talking about. 🙂

Its like everything is coming together right now. Its been coming together before I got this book. Pieces are falling into place for me. Im having a better understanding. B has told me these things, but I did not understand. I took them in a different way. I have spent so much time giving, catering around him, letting him set the way the relationship goes, then whining, crying and nagging about how Im not happy with it. Another part in the book says not to nag, but show him your unhappy with something by being direct, and with your actions.

I would say perfect example of all this has just been recently. Pulling back, but its talking about having dignity and respect. A person doesnt have to say much, I just go and be busy, dont take a call, dont make time for him. Dont drive out. etc etc.

And a lot of it, is guys will push and see how far you will allow them to go, theres a part telling of this comparing it to a Mom and a child, and its AWESOME, but Ill type it here when I get to it ( I skimmed all over the book first earlier today) So now Im going from the beginning.

B has stopped calling me and really saying much ever since seeing him Sunday. And today it was starting to bug me. WE havent talked much at all to be honest, just goodnite calls really, and our emails are short, today he even wrote and said “No personal emails ok? 3 others are sharing my login” Whatever that meant, but ok. So I just wrote back OK B.

I called him tonite at 8:30 and its now 11:15, he was too busy to talk and said hed call me back, well nothing yet. And a lot in the book I was reading said guys WILL DO this to see how we react. And when we react upset and angry they see how hung up and dependent we are on them, how much control they have over things. When we dont call them, dont say anything and dont be so available when they call, then they begin to wonder what is up with us?

Does any of this make any sense? It totally does to me, because Im reading this book, part of me is disgusted at how Ive conducted myself for so long, yet the other part is grateful to get an eye opener NOW.

B was right. I am not a challange, I give give give. I dont require it of him and I constantly put myself out there when I need not to do so.

🙂 So Im not a pro now, Im just learning here. But its like each time I broke up with B, or when Im busy, thats whe he comes for me, that when he starts acting romantic, when I pull back and dont pursue him sexually, he comes after me.

Now its just finding the balance in all this, when and when not too. But the book is great. I recommend it to women ok!

I would like to write more. Im in a strange mood tonight. Ive been irritable each evening, and Im taking the Xenadrine again, just one capsule a day, and Im wondering if thats whats causing my mood, even tho I take it first thing in the AM, in the eves Im a crab.

I was starting to get upset with B today inside, not hearing from him really for the past few days. My class and teach went to my work tonight, everyone loved it, and I just felt annoyed with teach at the end, he didnt get my email, he didnt bring a film back or the money for the one he wanted to purchase and I left with him the week prior.

And I guess the book thing is hitting me, when I like a person. I overcompensate, I do a lot, I give give give. And I have to stop that. Ive done it with the teacher also.

Hes supposed to come in Friday and bring the check as I addressed it with him in the parking lot tonight and he said he completely forgot. So Ive just gotta be firm and direct and not all lenient just cause I think hes cute n stuff ya know?

Ex wrote me an email tonite when I was at class.

It says…

“Victoria, Hey, i got fired last friday, one week after i quit them. I know you thing i the bigest losser around.. hell i dont care anymore ! I just wont be used anymore, i wont be no ones whipping boy!!

I have a lot better chance now that i have met a few different owners, so things look alot better for me. If not i think i’m going to get my license and just go for it. I’m just so sick of failling… cant take it anymore….

I’m doing the best i can to keep up with the payments..Ex”

My wage assignment to that employer was probably just served also. Figures eh? We shall see if he really brings me money tomm as he said in another part of the email.

And its funny, my ex called me a bitch a few mos back. ANd well with him. I have established boundaries, limits, and demand to be treated with dignity, put him in his place and not back down. Which is what I need to put into practice all across the board with others too ya know? Not just people I dont care for.

Well gonna go for now, later