Karma Dude
Dear Diary,
Well, my coworker, computer dude messaged me. Server crashed at work, so hes a bit stressed so I sent him a little pat on the back message. He and I havent talked much, I was hurt about his comment a few weeks ago saying that he thinks I enjoy the crap with my ex and that I stir the pot.
So he messages me this AM to say hes been having lots of negative things happen this past week and that he needs to take a look at himself see if there are some things that arent right. I was telling him stuff happens, but basically he was referring to Karma and making sure things are right with himself and perhaps thats why negativity was happening.
So Im sitting there and took it as my opportunity to tell him that his remark hurt me. And that I disagreed with it, told him about the panic/anxiety issues I was having regarding the ex and about the therapy.
I get all nervous speaking up for myself, but deep inside I know hes a nice guy, one of the few I trust here and like to talk to, so thats why I took it so personal.
SO YAY! For me! We talked it out, and he said right away before I even told him much that he sensed he crossed a line with something he said to me and that the convo died and things have been “Different” since. So its all cleared up. He apologized. I told him I know it wasnt a mean intentional thing, I know hes a good guy. I am learning to speak up, clarify things myself and I just sat on it.
So I told him jokingly “Ok I dont hate you anymore, and honest I didnt curse a voodoo doll or anything to mess with your week and your driving and computer skills” He laughed but then wrote back…
” I know you didn’t. But maybe (somewhere in the universe), the fact that I screwed up and upset you and did not handle it, stuff started happening to me? People tend to punish themselves more than anyone else ever could. There’s just different levels of how it happens. Most people never notice, they just keep going with life. I try to spot it and clean it up…”
Ahhh wow, Im not really into this style of thinking, I mean I believe in you reap what you sow and all that, and its not that I totally disagree with it either. I dunno, just feels good to clear something up. 🙂