Following People

Dear Diary,

I have been feeling so unmotivated with work lately. So yesterday was a good day. I poured myself into working on some new items. I then received 2 calls and talked deeper with a customer. Well he calls often anyways and he had a package delivered that had a lot of items in it and it was stolen at his doorstep. He is a school teacher and it took him a month to save for them all, so I felt bad a long with him. He can get his money back since it was insured, but these were items that are hard to replace. So now we have been communicating on the phone, its strange getting calls, I got 2 yesterday. 🙂 Its a nice feeling though. I have always been behind the scenes and through email with people.

After work I got home, watched a little bit of Dr. Phil. I generally watch the first half of his show. And it was on people who have trouble or fears with commitment/marriage. I really wish he would have gone into more depth, and I had to leave. But Dr. Phil had this diagram of a pyramid and asked “Which level on here are you making your decisions from” and I guess I was curious as to the significane of that, and what each level meant really and was that positive or negative? For example at the bottom level of the pyramid was Survival, in the middle was Security, Love, Spirituality… and a few other things. So basically the approach you go forward with says a lot about the person. And I guess I always hear B saying he has to SURVIVE, he is coming from the bare bottom basic approach to things from survival. And I guess I am not really sure where mine stem at, Ill have to see if his website says anything about this? Or does anyone else remember that diagram?

I then headed to the gym. My gym buddy came over and was like “Wow where have you been?” He always does that to me if I dont come daily. 🙂 So we talked some, we spoke about my ex situation. He said “Well how is he living if hes not working? How is he making money?” I said “Exactly, its almost 2 mos now, My kids informed me he got a TV, hes buying them clothes, and taking them out to eat, he has to be working” I also noted he most likely is working under the table. Gym guy said “Well now you need to have someone follow him and snap pictures of him working” I said “Exactly, believe me Ive already thought about all that” I told him how I thought about doing it myself, he said “Noo you get somebody else” So last night I started to think? Wonder if he would help me? Heck the guy works for the Prison and works in investigating criminals and security measures. The same guy who said if my Ex gives me any trouble and I need some big guys around to show him some type of presence to scare my ex off, to let him know. So was that his way of offering to me to follow? Ill have to talk to him more about it.

I also have received no responses from my ex to my emails. And he has still not provided me with an address of where he lives. So Im going to make a copy of the legal papers stating that we both have to inform the other of where we are residing, I believe there was something like that in it, and basically if he doesnt come forward with that info, then he cant take the kids for a visitation until he provides a address. Because with an address it also gives me a reference point of where he is staying, and I also know the guy he works with either works for or owns his own AC Company.

Got kids and came home. My ex called at 9pm for the kids. His time in the legal papers states between 6-8pm. And they got to bed at 9pm so the machine just caught it.

I then just sat online and played for a bit after dinner, helped kids with homework, I think my oldest’s reading has already improved from my observation. They also get a field trip this friday with the after school program, they are going to a roller rink, and can also play soccer or basketball.

B popped on briefly, he just got in and was tired, frustrated over the car thing, he said he was going to go watch the baseball game. I then played awhile longer, then got comfy in bed to watch Real World. B called me halfway through it saying he was so tired, he was going to bed but wanted to call and say he loved me and would call me tomorrow. Sure I would love to talked to him more, but I think after our talks these past few weeks. We both had to make some things clear. He just has days where he doesnt feel like talking much and so he would not call me at all because he felt he had to talk to me for a long time. I on the other hand just wanted a call to say Hey, I love you or anything. So we sorta had to come to an understanding on BOTH ends of where we are coming from. Each having to give a little.

Havent spoken to music dude since he left for his weekend trip on Friday. Which is a while for us since we were talking so much for awhile. Its ok though, I love the guy, but we will just remain at the friends level.

I went to sleep a little after 11pm. Trying to make myself get to sleep earlier. Im so tired in the AM!

Thats all for now!