Sigh

Dear Diary,

My nose is all red and puffy. I want to just go hide away right now. I mean my ex can see anyone he wants to, even this woman. It doesnt mean it doesnt make it sting all the more.

Its just weird for me, its tough. Its not just some woman he met but a friend of ours both. I used to sell candles and did parties in this womans home for her. I have been to so many family events with all of these people.

She was married to a man who ran a store here, and right when ex and I moved into our house she moved into a rental house just up the street from us, this house belonged to my Sitter and her husband, they rented it to her. My Ex was always taunting this woman in church, making fun of the gap in her teeth any chance he could, whenever we saw her and shed say “Why are you so mean to me!” and I would always ask him to leave her alone.

I remember talking to her awhile ago, I believe she went and beat up her husband for catching him at the park with her best friend.

But she still isnt divorced from him, nor did she mention gettign a divorce yet when I saw her at the bank, just that she had enough of him and gave it another try but he continued to see her friend.

My sitter said to me ” She has been acting very strange ever since being apart from her husband” I dont know, her nephew is the kid my ex always took under his wing, but then one night he came over after he pulled a knife on his mom, this womans aunt, and my ex was out in the street at night beating him up while this teenage boy was screaming call the polices hes hurting me, and I was in teh house with my kids who could hear this and I had to call my neighbor to intervene.

I cannot even imagine how they are all viewing this, with him with her, all the teenage boys in the family, the oldest one is the one who showed up at my sitters house the other night telling them that they have been involved for sometime. Why he felt the need to rat out my ex I dont really know. But C has been wondering why my ex wont talk to him, and the one who came over said its because they talk to me.

Meanwhile my ex treats me like crap, Comes into town rarely and then is seeing her also? I said to my sitter “Where does he have the time??? He sees the kids not even 2 days” But I think back to all his visits, he left at night during one to meet someone from online and left the kids with his Mom, another time he left overnight at met a girl at a amusement park and was back with the kids when they woke up.

Dang, hes busy I tell ya.

I just wish it wasnt someone I knew I guess, someone so close. Yet at the same time, my exs patterns, as a girlfriend of mine and boyfriend said. This will all backfire on him. Do you think? My ex is well known for sleeping with the ditching women , but my sitter said “Your ex plans to come out to see her on his next visit” I have a court date with him in a few weeks, and he is telling the kids hes taking them camping when he calls.

sigh