Girls Like Cars and $$$
Dear Diary,
Ah just things flooding through my head.
I am so physically attracted to Gym guy its not even funny. He just sat there on the couch last night and I just look at him and wow.
Im so intensly drawn, I have to say in all my dating ventures or boyfriends, ex, etc, He is to me the best looking man Ive been with so far. And yes its only looks, and Im just amazed at how intense they are, How drawn I am.
And a lot of it isnt so much his awesome body, but its his face, his eyes, I love his eyes, his smile, his facial hair with the touches of gray in it.
Hes beautiful. Hes a good looking guy. And he doesnt look as old as he is, when I told B how old he was he was shocked also as he guessed him to be younger.
He also has this charisma, this jokesterness, sorta Jack Nicholson dirty flirty old man but its not gross, its flattering the way he does it.
And the other part of me just has a heart that goes out to him, its a mixture of physical attraction to wanting to care for his wounds and hug and love him and tell him life will be better.
Not the healthiest view I know to have with a man, but im just putting it here honestly.
And then to have this gorgeous man, who just can kiss and kiss and kiss me, who tells me how soft my lips are all the time, who smells my hair when we sit on the couch, who touches my skin and loves my fair complexion, Im a little shy about my body naked and he just says “Why are you so shy, why are you so modest, let me just look at you, you are so beautiful, stop hiding, I like what I see”
But then to discover I cannot just whisk off to the bedroom and become one and just make love to him, ahhhh see the dilemma?
Ive never dealt with this before. I dealt with Ex BF’s lack of sexual interest at times, and that would frustrate me somedays, but this guy is so sexual yet has a hard time having the actual act of sex? Irony eh?
And I guess laying in bed early this AM and talking about it, seeing how hes just resigned himself in so many ways to this is it for him.
Im flashbacked to Ex BF, and him just feeling STUCK and not able to move forward. And how I understand him, how I do understand Gym Guy.
This may sound totally warped, unhealthy, whatever it is, but Im going to put it down. But I feel in many ways this is what I was meant to do.
I meet up with people, men in my life and have some special ones. Those who dont trust many people but allow me in. I love to praise and nurture, I love to encourage. And if I can touch even a life for a glimpse that was abused growing up and never felt love. That was in shallow relationships and women who were cruel.
Ive heard from Ex BF and Gym guy the same thing, women looking for the checkbook, money, big career. And thats just never been me. Granted Im not saying an unemployed lazy ass guy is okay by me either.
Theres a song out right now. The first time Gym guy and I went anywhere it came on the radio. So he constantly refers to it at odd moments jokingly, but its a sad view of reality at times today…
Educated
With money
He’s well dressed
Not funny
And not much to say in
Most conversations
But he’ll put the bill in
Most situations
Cause he pays for everything
Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they’re not funny
Paper
Or plastic
Don’t matter
She’ll have it
Vacations
And shopping sprees
These are a few
Of her favorite things
She’ll get what she wants
If she’s willing to please
His type of girl
Always comes with a fee
Hey, now, there’s nothing for free
Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they’re not funny
And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls
The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris
Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money
All of these boys, yeah get all of these girls
Losing their souls in a material world
Good Charlotte- Boys and Girls