Brother and My Peace

Dear Diary,

Nice relaxing evening. Went to group and had a great time and got another womans phone number. So maybe we can spend some time together and hang out.

Came home and have started slowly decluttering. Started with the hallway closet. Pulling out all the old jackets I no longer wear. I really want to simplify life. I have way too much stuff! And its starting to bug me.

Called mom and found out my brother and his wife are not living together. They have been married for about 15 yrs Im guessing. They have 2 boys. It didnt come as a total surprise since his wife has been acting very strange the last few years during holiday events. Just not very happy, withdrawn, not talkative, or on the other foot snappy and rude. We have all been kind about it. She is not like the rest of us who wants to hang out and talk with us girls, which is her choice. But I guess I just wish she knew we sympathize and understand. We have all been through our own. And I dont think poorly on her regardles sof the issues of why they are apart. None of us know at this point. But from what I have heard my brother is not staying at the house now. Interesting how things happen. Me and my sister both went thru divorces with abusive controlling men. My other sister lost her first husband to death, and is now remarried.

Not saying Brother and his wife are divorcing, but something is going on. I hope he is ok, and I hope that he can start reaching out to the rest of us siblings, we have all been communicating and getting closer these past few years. Hes the one whos more on the outside of it all.

I got a check today from ex. Its half the amount. But its something, now I have to wait again to see if it clears.

This is the first check in over 3 mos.

He also called with his sad boy voice today wanting to talk to me. I wasnt home and my machine is maxed so it cut him off. One more week and we will go to mediation and then a court date.

I also got my kids registered for school. I had to switch tracks on them, so they will start in August. 4 more weeks, as opposed to starting next week. I got them both different teachers then planned and they both get in the after school program! YAY! I also got my young one a male teacher, he even told me he wanted one, and it just so happened that track had a male.

Countdown is approaching for out little 4th of July getaway! I cant wait to pack up the Jeep and head out of here!

I have always liked my job, but right now Im just in a place where I just want to get out of town all the time.

We shared our dreams today at group. Just off the top of our heads, and I said “I want to live in a beach house and have a Jeep Wrangler” It was kinda fun saying that to the group and the all went oOOOOOh! As we all shared our dreams. Its important to have dreams and share them.

I feel good tonight. Despite all the storms, I feel good. I dont always know where Im at, but Im at peace in my house, nobody runs me around and controls me any longer. I can go to bed when I want, stay up as long as I want, go where I want, talk on the phone, play online, as long as I want. I dont walk on eggshells, nobody is blaring movies in the front room any longer that I cant stand and cant get away from the noise. Now there is peace. I like peace.