Angelina and Mr. Pitt

Dear Diary,

Yes I am a total celebrity follower, magazine reader, love the stories and headlines and hearing about their personal lives.

So this is just my mind, my randomness, my assumptions, my writing in my own thoughts and all.

I have never disliked Jennifer Anniston, Shes a pretty girl.

Ive found Brad Pitt attractive, and they just seemed like the perfect hollywood ideal of two pretty people getting married, but I always wondered what their spark was, and I never really saw anything. Yes I think about what famous people are like alone as married folks, and they just were hard for me to picture.

But I believe, i could be wrong, that Brad comes from a more traditional background, seems sorta midwest or something?

And well the whole stuff about having a kid, and how Jen wanted to wait and her career and all.

And here you have Angelina, shes beautiful, gorgeous! Hell as a woman shes so beautiful to me, I just want to stare at her, and its just a very natural beauty she has, her lips, her eyes, her eyebrows, her complexion, her voice, all of it.

But then her relationship with Billy Bob, and how once she adopted the child, became a mom and how Billy just wasnt into it, and her son became her world. How she has her humantarian efforts and all, and I can just see her and Brad talking about things, about children, families, whats important in life, and I just envision Jen wanting Hollywood and career and hair and being thin.

I see Brad attracted to her, Angelina and her mothering traits, as he has wanted that for his life. Imagine that, Brad and Angelina parents? Trippy eh?

Who knows what will play out of all of this, I think Angelina may be more then Brad can handle, but guys always like a challange then dont they, man but I loved Angelina and how shed hang all over and make out with Billy in public events.

Its so weird, normally if you hear a guy has a cheating heart you wanna blast him, and for some weird reason Im all supportive of him and Angelina and feel like it makes sense. HA!

Yep Im weird,

I guess when you go through all I have, well it makes you look at things different, I was reading some stuff today on Douglas Fairbanks Sr. the actor, and his father, how his father just basically took off on his wives and kids and left them for new women, then how Douglas Sr. had affairs also and several marriages, and reading the Hollywood Animal book of Joe Estherhaze and him leaving his wife and the whole blatant affair thing,,,,

Its been happening for as long as we can remember, and yes its painful.

I was reading Hellcats diary and something about the Heart and the Mind and how they both operate differently.

Love does make us do things that seem so odd and out there.

Ive done things myself, but at times I have thought I have found Love but find its not true, but its amazing how things can take over and consume.

I guess thats where my fear of commitment now comes in, knowing myself, knowing others, how rarely people stay together for life anymore, I desire to have that, but Im also realistic, its scary you know?

I was talking to Marcella last night about B, about how I even have thoughts of a child with him down the road if we remain together. Yeah I think of a baby with him and have actually been toying with comments, oh how hed love a little girl, and he knows he would. I even said so. Hes just always done well around women, raised around them, no father, I think he just feels awkward with a male, not that he couldnt do it, but a little girl would bring out a side to him I would love to see.

And I hear all the Dr. Laura talk about not having kids till yours are grown if its a second marriage yada yada and not to take away from the children you do have and burden them with all that. So i think of having a kid, well Im 32, I still can have a kid all the way through my 30s, Im in good health and all. And hell one day we could just be a family and my boys will be about grown or almost adults.

Wild eh? Yes I think about such things, part of me thinks having a baby is simply terrifying, I see it as starting over, confinement, etc, but then again Ive learned so much raising my boys, and Im talking ONE child. One child is a lot easier you know! LOL

Ahhh yeah, Im talking babies when I cant even commit to marriage and worried about lasting, Im a weirdo, 🙂