Sex and Lovers
Dear Diary,
Was reading a friends diary and had to paste this hear(hope ya dont mind) 🙂
She said…
“The right lover won’t limit you – he’ll free you.”
I took the comment to mean “free you” in a sense where there’s a committment to support you and encourage you to do what you want/learn how you learn, give you freedom to accomplish what you feel you need to and grow into the person you’re meant to be.
I guess sometimes that does necessitate a release. But I think if both parties are willing to enjoy watching the other enjoy their freedom that can be avoided.
I guess it comes back to the question I am working to resolve “how much do we compromise in a relationship before it is too much?”
I read the question at first and saw the word LOVER so though of in that regard, it didnt say the right PARTNER, but it said the right LOVER.
haha, ahh isnt that so appropriate right now. Wont limit you, but free you?
I do feel limited as a lover, I feel limited as to when we can make love, I feel like Im in some sort of role reversal, everything I ever heard is turned upside down.
Gone are the days of me being a woman not wanting to have sex with my partner, but wanting to, pursuing it, enjoying it, feeling at times like I want it so bad I could beg.
What on earth happened? I mean I used to go to Mommys groups with church ladies, I used to hear how women didnt want much sex, they were too exhausted and tired staying home with the kids, the men were starved. Their women were boring in bed… etc etc….
I did not hear about Men, men being that way, women dealing with men who wanted it less.
Just makes you wonder whats going on, why is this happening?
How do you draw out that inner animal in your partner? How do you encourage it to grow and flourish without being a nag or attacking their ego or any of that?
There are times I just want to spout off and say “So and so isnt like this or that” but yeah, ummm that will surely do some damage.
I remember when B and I split up and we were on the phone late one night, talking about sex, things we didnt do, things I wanted to do, things that didnt happen and he was all gung ho and thought they were awesome and in agreement.
How on earth does a 29 yr old man have such a subdued level of sex drive? He used to tell me he masterbated often? When we didnt live together, now he doesnt? And its like where does all that energy go? The desire he had? Im here now, he told me before he moved in to watch out,,,, LOL IM STILL WATCHING??????
Now granted Im not downing the guy, Im just trying to figure out whats up or how to handle this, I just dont GET IT, is all….
I talked to him briefly last night before he fell asleep, I had been flirting with him again last nite, telling him I was thinking of the nite before,,, and all that…
He told me he was too tired, could we catch up on that thought tomm, and I said “Do you ever just want to be spontaneous?” Hes all “Well yeah but its kinda hard with the kids around” I said “Well they went to bed 2 hrs ago, I was vacuuming, cleaning up, in the bath, you were at teh computer, do we just have to go to the bedroom take off our clothes and do it the same way? Why not come knock me down on the floor in the other room and just kiss me? I even told him if the kids are just relaxing watching tv, he can still steal me off to the bedroom. We just lock the door and have to be quiet is all….
He took his supplement this AM before work, poor guy, I seriously dont know what it is, why hes got trouble, I know he has a…. uhhh forget what its called but one side has a blockage, his semen, he has seen a dr over it, theres nothing really to do about it, no harm to him, it just causes a small lump, but still is that what it is?
No, hes just a reserved fella, he hasnt awoken, he hasnt reached a place of comfort and openess, he doesnt really work at new skill or experimenting, I pretty much pursue him, or if hes in a mood, he just come and gets me and is ready to get to the point, playing needs to be more sensual, drawn out, yeah, that boy has some learning to do.