More Vent

Dear Diary,

Just wanting to do a practice letter of what I want to say, just get a feel if I even want to I guess.

Dear B,

Heres how I feel, cut to the chase, cut past the bullshit, heres what I want.

Ugh, I started to type a list of things I want, mainly stuff like a day a week with you, blah blah blah, but just back spaced and elimanated it all.

What I want? I dont want to even have to ASK to have time with you, Im disgusted to be honest that Ive been doing this. That Im sitting home wishing to see you, wishing for a call that says, Im coming to see you babe, or I miss you and I want you to come out Babe.

Im tired of asking. You want to speak of how being alone is your friend and not a bad thing to you. I think you fail to see how much of that you do have. And how little I get.

I mean plain and simple, you want to be with me or you dont. And you want to be with me in a way that works for BOTH of us, not just on your terms.

Because well thats pretty fucked up, I deserve more.

Either you stay where you are, and keep preaching off your emotionally unavailable, how your a selfish bastard, and how Loneliness if your friend and stay stuck in that, if its really what makes you happy, because well I seem to get reminded constantly by you how those things are the way you are.

Im left dangling with comments like “But Im working on it” Or “But it doesnt mean it cant change” or “Well work on it”

Ummm yeah,

Umm No Im not sending this, lol it turned more into a vent.