9/11/2001 Diary

I wrote this on September 11, 2001

Woke up and got ready for work and kids ready for school, Phone rang when I was in the shower.

I checked voice mail and it was the Husband saying ” I just called the boys to tell them I love them very much, Im not sure if you know whats going on right now, bye”

First thing Im thinking is he was served. So I just didnt answer the phone. It kept ringing all AM, I know he was trying to call.

Got in the Jeep and started to drive kids to school. Listening to Rick Dees on the radio say what was going on. I was kinda in a daze, and then I had to tell the kids to be quiet to listen, They didnt care, they were there usual selves.

I ran into my girlfriend at the school and she updated me more on what was going on. She just said to me “You know, God is working” and shrugged her shoulders.

I got back in the Jeep and called Ink, he doesnt follow tv much so I figured he hadnt heard.

Got in to work and coworkers were all around the TV, seeing first pictures of all the smoke in the skies of NY.

Every one is all serious today. No smiles. Either quiet, or in shock, one coworker displayed more venting anger and came in and talked to me a bit. “We are gonna turn there country into glass!” He said.

I called my parents, talked to Dad and he just said “These are the worst, you cant fight people whos mission is to die, just like modern day Kamikaze pilots”

I did call the Husband. Hes in NJ right along the border of NY. Just left him a message, told him the kids and I love him, to keep in prayer and stay close to God.

He came and talked to me online, said he can see the smoke. The convo was brief. We didnt say much, its just all so shocking. He just said “What a place to be at this time” and we said I loves yous.

He just called last night to say he wont be flying in this weekend. He had to change his plans and then this happens today. He prolly wouldnt have flown out anyways.

So here I sit at work, nobody is working, the phones hardly ring. Its weird. Going in to AMPM and hearing all the clerks talking.

All Airports are shut down.

Tell everyone you love them, you never know if this minute is your last.
The date today is 911

12 Sep 2001 – God is there
Its a little after 10pm. Just sitting here reading thru Diaries. Just amazing how we are all in the same place right now all over the world dealing with this, diary after diary entry.

The boss came in and told us to all go home. Nobody could work really, no calls were coming in.

I went to the grocery store then went home to my couch and television.

Yes I have watched quite a bit of TV today.

Anyways they were having a moment of silence today at 4pm, the local radio announced the spot. I drive by it everyday to and from work. Its a spot where they have a flag flying daily, a small post of sorts where people park to watch planes. Often seeing the Stealth fly overhead.

So I drove on over. I was about 15 min early and there were only 5 cars. I thought there would be more of a turn out. But in the next few minutes the cars started to show. A pastor from the closest church was there also. And we all prayed together. Must have been about 40 people.

I then headed to pick up my youngest. He goes to a private school. So when I picked him up he said that he knew that something happened with some airplanes. And that his class prayed. And that Satan laughs when evil occurs.

Then we went to pick up my oldest, He was oblivious to it all and didnt know what happened. I explained to the kids what had gone on, in best terms for there ages.

We then stopped by my Moms house. I had heard the church I went to with Ink was having a prayer service tonight. So I headed out with the kids to the church.

Got there a bit too early since I heard the time wrong. I stood out as a chick wearing jeans to the all of the women adorned in dresses and long skirts. But who cares, Im here to pray.

A lot Im talking MANY people approached me tonight, extended hands and hellos.

As I was sitting a girl came up and spoke to me and sort of took me under her wing for the remainder. She was so sweet. She just took the reigns, told me I could sit with her, showed me that there was childcare for the service and where to go.

We sang Amazing Grace, then went into prayer time, a lot of people got on there knees on the floor and faces down on the pew benches.

You could hear the tears.

After that they invited people to come up to pray, for assistance, etc etc.
The girl turned to me “Want to come up with me and pray?” I said yes.

So we went up front and got on our knees together on the burgundy carpet. She prayed, I cried.

I said a brief prayer after her, then we walked back out to the restrooms to go and blow our noses.

I was listening to Cardinal Mahoney on the drive earlier I believe. And someone else. And talking about how we talk to our children about this. And I had heard about lighting a candle, and sitting down and praying with your kids tonight. How Christ is the light in the darkness of it all.

So after church me and the kids sat and watched. I explained to them more about the news footage and what had occurred. Then I placed a candle on the table and turned out the lights. I told them we were going to pray for the families who lost loved ones, and pray for our President, then for our own hearts.

I prayed, Then my youngest offered a prayer
“Please help Daddy be good and listen, Please help Mommy and Daddy not fight, Please help all the people that died”

Then my oldest prayed one sentence for the people in the world.

As we got up my youngest said “Mommy? We should do this every night”

I agreed.

Without the Lord in my life, well I just dont understand how people do it, I find great comfort in the Lord. Some things are just to big for my own understanding. God is there, He can take my burdens and give me comfort.

Im thankful for that. As it is tough right now. Not having your family intact or a man to make you feel a little bit safer in your home each night.

But God is there.
12 Sep 2001 – White House target? [PRIVATE]
Just listening to ABC news via the Internet. Peter Jennings was sharing some more news that its being said that the Pentagon was not the original target. It was the White House, and that Air Force 1 was also a target.

Will be interesting to hear the follow up to this one.

Ive been reading and listening to a lot of reports. Hearing about the cell phone calls made from the planes. Cant even imagine having a family member call you from a hijacked plane to say I love you, we are being hijacked.

There is also a lot of speculation about what occurred on the plane that crashed in PA in the field. Wondering if there was a struggle on board that plane. That a pilot would rather crash elsewhere then take suchs orders of a terrorist. But the reasoning is the pilots were not flying at all. They were either killed or removed from the controls.

Im really anxious to see if anything is found on those blackboxes.

Today is quite dead. Im at work, but currently business is so dead around here. Emphasis is shifted elsewhere, everything else feels so trivial. So many things just dont really matter that 2 days ago may have seemed like everything.

Its a weird feeling. Just kinda sitting here and going “What do we do now?What next?” This world will never be the same. I do wonder will things just fall back into place once again and continue business as usual? How much time will it take to get over this? Well let me take that back, can we get over this?

Even though I have faith in God. Its still hard to walk around filled with Joy right now. I have peace in knowing that the ones who have passed on that are with the Lord are in wonderful place of peace now, where they will never feel pain or sorrow.

Im alone in bed at night these days. I dont have a spouse next to me any longer. I dont have someone to hold me each night, someone to just sit on the couch and share the shock with. Ink and I speak on the phone, buts its a lot of silence. I think that is how it is for most people? Silence?

Its just weird