Escaping This Place

Dear Diary,

I was up till about 4am. I could not sleep.

I talked to my big sis and she keeps saying “This is the madness in the world, sis, its just madness, its not just you, its going on all around us.”

We talked about things upsetting us, wanting some peace and that there is nothing wrong with wanting that and being upset by those who have no regard and destroy it.

She told me how miserable this woman must be, how wherever she came from this must have been how she behaved and if this is the way she behaves around me in public imagine what she is like at home behind closed doors with her children.

My sister was speaking about some part in the Bible speaking about Famine, as we were talking about how people are today, Blaming others, not accepting responsibility, my sister said “Your neighbor is basically a bully” and she said the Bible speaks about a Famine and said the famine was referring to the word of God. The moral laws, the common sense, the way we are to treat one another, and people are lacking that basic principle.

Its really sad. I sat in the Grocery store about 9:30pm July 3rd watched a poor young guy in the Deli get chewed out by some angry woman raising her voice wanting to be served NOW!

He remained calm but told her she was behaving very disrespectful, she got worse at that point, another deli worker came to us and I told him that the other worker needed help, he headed down there and they traded off, the poor young guy helped us keeping his cool, we offered some verbal support to him. The woman ended up demanding her CAKE now, went in the back of the Bakery, got into the cases, was taking the frosting applicators and yelling “IM DECORATING MY OWN CAKE SINCE NOBODY WILL HELP ME!” People are walking by staring. When we left she was up front with a manager ratting on this poor kid she just verbally assaulted..

My man said to me “What the hell is wrong with people?”

So I was up last night, once again pouring through real estate ads.

I cant really afford to move anywhere flat outright and be in the same financial place I am now.

But what about selling my home? And just renting for awhile? Going and living for a year in some place nice? Getting a lease, seeing how we do there, if the man and I can pick up new jobs? I would perhaps walk away with $200 if I sell my home. I found a home in Cambria… Would cost me $24,000 to rent it for a year.. OUCH! But imagine being able to get out of here for a year? Wow, and if we have to return to this city after that so be it, and rent an apt or buy another home…

I dont know, Im just so sick and tired of it all.

Im tired of this area frankly. I want to go up to the central coast.