Up For A Bit

Dear Diary,

Wow Its been a few weeks since I was last feeling this way, cause I went to the dr the friday before labor day.

The weird part about it is my throat feels sore, like on the back left side, like its raw or scraped or something, I said this to B and he said he feels the same way and I said my neck is tender when you squeeze or massage it. I told the Dr this when I went in and she looked, flashlight, doing the ahhhh test and a throat culture and nothing. Just that it could be viral.

Just that this dang thing returned.

See other then that I was having the best way I could describe it was joint pain and tiredness and it reminds me of people I have known with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. I even went and read up on that stuff but you have to have it for like 6 mos or so.

My mom said she thinks its stress related, but I havent always been stressed, but I know speaking to the ex that night is when those series of headaches started. I was telling Mom how I dont have the panic anxiety attacks anymore and that I didnt fall for my ex’s BS on the phone either, so she said “It still affects you, you have learned new ways to deal with it but it still impacts you internally”

So wether its a combo or stress and having some virus? I dont know, Ive been taking my vitamins religously and drinking Emergen C everyday.

SO yeah its frustrating, I drank a ton of water yesterday before I got sick even, had oatmeal, yogurt, balance bar, my vitamins, and some peanuts, came home and had a bagel, later some soup.

I was in bed till like 12:30pm today which is good, I slept on and off. So now i just had to get up out of bed. Oldest will walk home to Moms and at 3 she will get youngest and bring them home for me, whewwww so I dont have to get up again, not fun to get up at 6:50am and leave to take kids to school when you feel like hell.

I seriously want to go get a full body massage and was gonna plan one for this thurs or fri but I cant be all sick like this but hoping it gets better soon, I think the worst part is over and last night was awful and I sweating so much.

So the fever must have broke.

and Im really pissed off, I went to Walmart on monday nite with B and the kids and bought these peanut butter wafer cookies for myself… 6 in the pack, B and I had one Mon night, I took one to work tues, last nite the kids asked if they can have some, I said NOPE (LOL it was my snack) and I get up this AM and find the box empty in the trash! Yeah im selfish with my snacks, not sure if B is to blame or B and the kids but dammit those were mine. There is a box of cookies I bought in the cupboard for them! Grrrrrrrr

Thanks for the comments you guys. I feel I am spending much more time now taking care of me and Im getting sick now, and I cant even fathom the thought of working more hours with things going this way! I cant make it thru a 3 day work week!

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