Grumpy then Good

Blaaahhh!

Dear Diary,

Sorry just been so busy and not much time to myself, which would be so nice right now.

I can totally see the difference in life going back to my former work schedule, bleh!

This getting in later at dinner thing and homework sucks. Instead of me able to go to the gym and picking both kids up and not having to pay for after day care.

Now Im back to all of that too, on the flip side, I need the money. Although my hours have been tweaked, I was getting paid for 40 hrs, now it will be about 32 1/2 a week. Blech, which also sucks cause Im working what I was before but made more before i adjusted my hours for that one month, but due to some things said and put forth and changes, well there ya have it.

So its going to take some time to adjust again. Also I new my period was coming as I spotted a tiny bit that day, but the way my cycles are these past few months, I wont start for a whole other day or day and a half after that. Which was cool cause I hit the gym before it was heavy yucko time and thats good for me to do before hand physically.

But damn I was starving, tired, I went to the store, unloaded stuff with kiddo, then it was homework and making dinner and I was starving as were the kids and my little one was being demanding and I was yelling.

So by the time B got in, I had dinner done and B looked annoyed or something so I said “Are you okay?” And he just looks at me all annoyed saying “What the???” And I just said nevermind and walked out, why get snotty just cause I ask, I ask cause Im considerate and care. So then I was irritated and I heard my oldest say to B “She asked if you were alright” B said to him “Why, should I not be?”

Ugh why does he answer like that?

Anyways, he didnt hug me when he got in, he just got his food and talked grumpy and went to his computer, so then I was grumpy. I was in my upset angry state, my kids were all saying they didnt get their homework, I just wanted to SIT for a bit. Well B sent a message to my computer saying “Thank you for the dinner it was yummy” and a happy face. Which in return I said thanks, and felt a little better just cause of that. I then started to help youngest and his math homework was tough, first I didnt get what they wanted him to do since there was no example and it was “Find the RULE” and then the way he had to find the answers was a total pain in the butt. He didnt get it and it was sorta hard to explain how to get the answers to him. Meanwhile oldest wants help too, he goes to B, then my Ex calls! B answers and gives me the phone and ex wants to talk christmas schedule and kids gifts. I told him I couldnt talk I was in the middle of homework, it was just one of those eves where you feel pulled in every direction and you want to scream and run away and hide and say STOPPPPPPPPP!

Well I got little one started on another assignment and put that hard one off and a note to the teacher about it.

I told B I was gonna take a bath. He was gonna go make up some of Lentil soup for work for the next day. I got in the tub, after that I got my jammies on, raided my kids halloween candy and had a Butterfinger in my room with the door shut in bed. Flipped the tv on, and about 5 min later little one is at the door asking for something I told him to go away LOL.

B was in the kitchen and he and oldest were talking about cooking and various things which was kinda cute to hear.

B came and knocked on the door, and he came over and gave me a kiss. I asked him if he wanted to come to bed with me, to be honest I wasnt in a sexual mood but at the same time new my period was coming and didnt want to miss out either, :)~ Cause Id have to wait a few more days.

So my mood seemed to lift, the bedroom, the tv, a candybar, then got the kids to bed and B came in and laid down with me and we watched “Nanny 911 and Wife Swap” Last night they swapped husbands instead. It is always fun for me to watch that show. I get things from it. Im going to try what the Nanny did with the family last night on the show with the ,,, eeeks was it 5 or 6 kids, and they were always yelling and messy and the kids didnt have much respect. THe nanny did the trash bag thing each day for what was left on the floor but she didnt throw stuff out, they just had it put up. Didnt matter if it was clothes, toys, what have you, they lost those items. And had a chart they reviewed. The kids lost things and were crying and upset at first but they caught on and all were picking up, its the same thing my kids do, clothes all over, clean ones and then they throw the clean in the laundry instead of putting it away and it makes too many clothes and its annoying. B even said “So we gonna get out the bag” LOL cause my kids rooms are trashed right now and just like the kids were on the show.

So B and I had some loving, at 11pm! Which is always so hard for him to do it late as he says hes too tired and I want it too late.

So I feel good, I mean I went to bed feeling somewhat better, he stepped up and even did the dishes last night too and made the lentil soup and packed me a container.

B woke up late today he kept hitting the snooze and he didnt have many clean cothes, he needs to do laundry badly so he was scrapping around and complaining. I purposely dont do his clothes, And they are everywhere and need to be washed. So Ill remind him tonight, but still did not do them, its the one thing I DONT do.

I do it for me and the kids and thats enough and we carry the same loads, so after enough mornings of him having dirty clothes, he will eventually do it, funny how i feel bad sometimes for not doing it? But Oh well. I know its not bad of me not too.

I even feel bad asking him for his half of the bills??? Not that he makes me feel bad, I do it to myself, but last night I asked and gave him his portion and he just writes me a check then and there for the full amount each time no prob. Its just my thing, I feel bad he spent so much money on the trip going out and whatever we wanted, but that was his choice right? 🙂 He agreed and I didnt ask him to get all he did.

By the way he got us a lot of wine from the wineries! I need to write about that soon huh?

So yeah Im tired, but Im okay, just really cant wait for the weekend.

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