Late Reflecting

Dear Diary,

Ah still up, balancing check book, filing, going through crap on my desk, silence, quiet, its nice, its midnight now.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, dont want to go to bed, want to enjoy the peaceful quiet

Music dude on messaging me, like old times, we have talked so little since hes a big shot now and then B moving in, now past 2 days we have chatted some, B said we should go down to his club, I mentioned it to him tonight, Music Dude said “DO It!” so maybe we can do it soon, I dont have my kids next weekend either.

Ex still has 3 extra weekends to make up.

I talked to another guy J the other night on Yahoo, Hes the guy I had a brief hots for when I was married, we had a flirtation online, I met him the very night I met B, but was all into this other dude. The cool guy, owns a house, age 35, no kids, good job, Harley, car, very cool, you know tattooed, dark hair, hes Armenian. He was like the rebel dude.

Anyways I went to a bar for my bday way back in the day of the Internet parties, he and I stepped outside, sat in his car and we kissed(very brief, cigg taste, ewww) and he went to reach down my shirt and I was put off, it was like the attraction I had died that night for him. We never have spoken about it, we just went from there, never stopped talking. He would show up at internet parties with these girls, porn actresses. All decked out. He seems to have no problem finding these types of girls, but he has no long term interest, just to fuck them.

So hes dated this younger girl over the past 10 yrs, and they break up, get back together, etc etc.

Yep, in between all the porn girls.

So he and I talked other night, he messages me often on Yahoo cam with his cam on. Hes a good catch as far as the looks, career, owns a home, etc goes. No children. Just not sure what his issue is with his choice in women. Well he told me the other night hes dating a 21 year old with Double DD breasts. Then tells me he and his girl split up. That they were married??!!!! Im all?? You guys married/??? Hes all “Yeah a year ago, its not working out, I do everything, I cook, I clean, she just watches reality tv shows 12 hrs a day, we are not compatible” tells me he got a prenup, so hes safe with his house and cars and money.

He tells me the big boob girl is nothing, shes just fun in the meantime.

We had a good talk, just like friends, relationships, etc. Its so weird, my past, these guys, Music Dude, this guy J.

Some guys I still talk to, we have remained friends on some level.

Then thinking, WOW, havent spoken to Mr Comedy or Mr Obnoxious. I removed both from my buddy list awhile back, but they have stopped messaging me. Mr Obnoxious who is the oldest guy to date that I was involved with, the one I first broke out and ran from home and was interested in outside my marriage, he and I went back farther then anyone I have known, but we have been so different, we have nothing in common, and now we dont talk.

Its not a bad thing I guess.

Just seeing changes, I dont have to remain buddies with everyone, just weird seeing people i had interest in at certain points in my life.

So my Jeep has new tires, dang B bought Sushi dinner friday, tires sat, dinner and drinks sat eve, hes just been spending, hes gotta be running out by now! He ordered me flowers online, eeks.

Im already negative $300 this week! I get paid this friday, hoping I can clear it until then since i have payments out that havent been cashed, but I have about $100 to depost tomm, so I should be safe, otherwise need to transfer some cash from my shower savings fund.

The guy came by friday, he said another guy is going to finish the job for him, that his health is bad, this job has gone on long enough, and he will just have to eat it with it, that its not my fault. So hoping all goes well, Im at their mercy to some degree I guess,

Its getting down to the backer board being put in here soon then time to tile.

So hopefully new guy will get under way starting tomm.

Im anxious to get that end of the house in order but need that done first, need the carpet cleaned, hall painted, kids room painted, etc, but dont want to do anything till they are done coming in and out….

Well gonna scoot for now, later…