Parental Encouragement

Dear Diary,

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Was all in a good mood then got a call from the guy working on the shower asking if my Mom was coming. Okay, I swear my Mom is having memory problems lately. I told her 9:30 am to be there to let him in as I had the teacher conference, well I call and shes still at home? She said “Oh I thought you were going back there to meet them” Im all??? I just called her after the teacher conference! I talked to her till 9:15 and said “I better let you go so you can get over there” ??????? What did she think that meant? I have noticed this as of late with my Mom, Ive had a few other episodes like this. And I guess whats frustrating is she cannot admit she forgot or something, so Im stuck in that situation where she says “You didnt tell me” and I did. I can only imagine as this is a small glimpse of what you deal with adored, mine is really nothing, mom is just aging is all. But it is weird when your Mom whos been mrs responsible, there, sharp as a tack, argues that you didnt tell her something when you did, I had a mishap this past year where she didnt give me correct change on something and I was so beside myself and she was insisting she was correct, I walked away from her frustrated, came back and broke it down again to which she finally got it, but one thing about Mom, shes stubborn and never been one to admit fault or say sorry.

Thats been her my whole life.

So I had teacher conference this AM for my oldest. And I have to say it was one of those where you left feeling so good, proud of your child and encouraged as a parent.

Mind you this was my 4th grade teacher when I went to this school way back. Now my son has her for 5th grade.

So she tells me “I have to say, your son is the kind of student I enjoy having, he is bubbly, savy, sharp, popular, social, there isnt a subject he isnt interested in and he wants to contribute or share. Everyone wants to sit next to him or talk to him.”

So he had gotten some demerits which i got a note about monday, for talking in class or getting up. He tends to go through this each year, starts out the year like this and the teacher has to break him of it. So I said to my oldest “You know better then this, you have done this to your last 2 teachers, it has to stop” So hes been coming home every day saying “No demerits Mom!”

The teacher said “Personally I dont have a problem with him, Im just prepping him for Jr High and life and that he has to be quiet, raise his hand, and just because people talk to you doesnt mean you always respond when you are supposed to be quiet” So she said hes not bad or mean, just needs to learn a little impulse control. So she said “He came up to me this week and said “Can I be moved to the end of the aisle” Shes all “Well um? Okay but why?” He said “I think it will make me a better student” AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

She said hes good about accepting responsibility for his actions and making corrections. So he wants the end so he has less people around him.

We talked about him, my oldest has pretty much fluttered around, hes not really buddies with one person. She said “Your son is popular, boys, girls, everyone likes to talk to him, hes very secure with himself, hes happy, mom you did a great job”

::::Sniff::::

She said as far as math goes hes good at it, always has been but she said he is at the top with her top students, that she introduces new concepts and he picks them. She said with the state scoring they are now having to introduce concepts that are normally introduced at 7th grade! And that my son is getting them. She said shes not personally happy to do this stuff early, but fortunately for my son he can pick it up. He scored about 4th grade level reading, so he needs a little improvement but she said overall hes doing great. And its weird because he enjoys to read, will sit and read books for fun at home in his bed, and she said he sits and reads in class also, but he generally tests low on reading tests, not sure why that is, as much as he does read. But she said really hes not too far behind anyways so not to be alarmed.

Well we ended up talking about my youngest and how I put him in private school and I told her some of our history and my kids. Just about their demeanors, the divorce, their attitudes and schooling. She said “I went through a divorce, I have 2 boys, similar to yours, actually your oldest is a lot like mine, I know you dont have a girl and neither do I, but having a son like yours who is very considerate, thoughtful and sensitive really gives you a lot of those traits you would have in a daughter, my son still looks out for me. My youngest I actually pulled him out of public school for 2 yrs because I didnt like the path he was headed down, Mom you know your child and you know whats best”

So thats was nice to hear also, my son approached the teacher I guess to share in class, and with me! So I have to talk to oldest to arrange since I signed up already to teach a special lesson or speech or share something in his class.

🙂

Anyways, I went to the gym yesterday, did my cardio then worked out doing chest with the 2 fellas. Saw you know who but no hellos or any of that. Came and went.

Got home and started cursive with youngest, he got upset and frustrated. I told him not to worry as the teacher knows hes just starting so it wont be perfect. He has to write a bible verse twice in handwriting.

He got it done though. Grudgingly I might add, but I dont think he did too bad at all for just starting, heck he doesnt have his letters down in cursive yet and he had to go straight to connecting them and writing sentences!

Hes happy though about the school. This AM Ex’s Aunt was there and his cousin is in his class( A late baby, so its more like shed be cousins with my kids, but in reality she is my ex husbands cousin, haha hes 33, shes 6)

She told me how happy her daughter is that my son is in the school now and that she is ecstatic.

One of these days, seriously, I wonder if they know what a dead beat ex has been and not helping, I know they would be pissed off at him, but Ive never told anyone in that family anything, but the aunt is the closet tie Ive had to the family, I see her often, shes never changed how shes treated me.

I had a talk with my son about the word gigolo yesterday, he still said I DONT KNOW, when asked where he heard it so I gave up, explained what it meant and hes all “OH” in a low tone, and told him “Do you see how that wasnt very nice to call B that?” He said yes.

So B got in late last night, after 7pm, we were to go to Costco to get food to buy for dinner, so we were all hungry, I dont think I can deal well with this, gonna have to talk and figure something out, Im used to eating at 5pm and so are the kids, and I dont like eating late, cause we are all starved and irritable by then, and I dont like eating late as far as weight goes, its not best to eat later. So Ive tried to make it so we eat together, but I dont think I can keep this up. Ill still fix him dinner and sit with him and talk, but Im thinking we wil have to eat earlier. So we go to Costco at 7pm, kids are squirrely, we are all hungry, And I run into C and his wife, This is the daughter of the man doing my shower job and old friends of mine. Havent seen them in awhile. I introduced B, he said Hi all serious and walked off with the cart. So It was kinda awkward as kids and I are all friendly an bubbly and talking and my new man just says hi and walks away.

I was irritable last night, just things picking at me, like laundry in the dryer, B’s clothes, I think Ive made up my mind that we will have separate laundry baskets, Im not washing and folding his stuff. Im just not doing it, we are not married, we both work full time, I have responsibilties, this stuff bugs me, and it doesnt bug him so much so he can worry about it.

I was then irritable over dinner, afterwards he made a plate for the dog, he talks so sweet about the dog, the way really, he could be with children, but he isnt, and my little one chimes in from the living room while doing homework and said “Why are you so nice to the dog?” And B was all “Huh? As opposed to what?” As to which youngest didnt understand his question. It was wierd cause I was thinking the same thing, wondering why he can be that way to the dog but not the kids, talk sweetly and nurturing”

He spent all this time saying the dog was a part of the family too and picking out good pieces of meat off the chicken for him and talking to him when putting him out. Yes, B would do well if we decide to have a dog and not a child in the future.

So Im sitting in bed with him, something came on tv, I said OHHH and he switched it and we watched CSI which he has been watching a lot, and I have with him. But I wanted my show. Then little one came in to show his cursive, I said it was good, B looked it over and said “He needs to work on his letters” I said “I know, but not bad for hte first time” Hes all “Well he needs to sit down and just write the letters” I said “I know” We spent hours yesterday doing this assignment which was that nights homework, night prior we worked on letters. Between dinner, home, baths and all I used up extra time for homework and little one was fried. So I said “Well B I know but when do I have time tonight?” Hes all “Well then pull him out of private school and put him back in public” that irked me? What the heck, I wasnt saying he wont get caught up but we cant do it all overnight and its on me and I guess made me feel hurt like he was implying I should do more with little one. So iw alked out of the room, did reading with youngest, got them to bed, took a bath, went to the computer, didnt talk to B. he came in and gave me a kiss. Which was fine, I later went to bed, he came in and we were watching DOG the Bounty Hunter.

I like the guy, an ex con who now is a bounty hunter, but the way he does things is awesome, he catches people, appears all mean and rough, once they have them he and his wife, brother, son and all who work with him basically switch gears, they pray before going out and share with fugitives about changing their lives around, getting right with God, Bible verses, and all. And he has little children and seeing this man intereact with little ones he loves was touching.

I was laying ther ein bed and it just flooded over me. Damn Cute Gym Guy, enters my mind, the ex con stuff, the new life, the fathering and children, Cute Gym Guy saying “Vicky I know you want to have another child” and how Ive wondered what it would be like to have another with a man who you set out to ahve one with and really want to do it” and knowing how Cute Gym guy was with my children.

My mind was just all going nuts but I remained quiet. I layed there, B asked me if I was okay, said I was quiet. I said I was okay, cause I really didnt know what to say at that moment, I didnt want to bitch at him. I love him, but didnt really know what to do with all my feelings you know? I came up and kissed him and just starred at him. Hes all “I cant wait till your PMS is over” LOL I said “Why?” Hes all “Cause i dont know how to read you, on minute your quiet and not talking, next your all loving” I said “Does that have to be PMS?” Anyways, we just curled up and went to bed early.

Yes I was thinking last night “Will this work out?” Which I have to think at times, its not going badly, and time will tell, but there are concerns also, but a step at a time……

Okay enough for now…