Here We Are

Dear Diary,

Just taking a break from house cleaning. Kids did their chores already, bedrooms and clean the bathroom. My youngest is going to my Moms in a bit to do some work at her house, Yes he is going each saturday now to do some chores at Grandmas, she said he inspected her bathroom this week and told her it still looked pretty good and that he should clean something else. HAHA! This is my 8 yr old. My 10 yr old has no interest in doing any work. Hes gonna hurt next week when he sees how much more his little brother is going to get paid.

And plus when Grandma pays him. Youngest has been asking me about banks, about a savings account, he said he wants to buy elbow and knee pads for the skate park, since they have one at the park I do laps at,he needs all the gear to go in though, but I just have not spent money on them yet, I think that would be a good goal for him and whatever hes short Ill pay the rest.

B left about an hour ago. Hes heading out of town for his part time job. I will not see him until tomm sometime.

Hes not going to get in till around 2am and will spend the night with the guy hes working with, then they are gonna go get his big desk tomm to move it here.

Its so weird, it feels good, but its wild.

Having him here like this, feeling him coming HOME to us.

Last night I met his coworker he will be driving to work with a lot and they unloaded some more of his stuff in the garage.

We then all went out to eat at Chilis. I was so annoyed, you know? You go out to enjoy atmosphere and food, I go to Chilis often and its a good place to go with my kids as its not totally quiet but its kids friendly, but this family came in last night, they stuck about 6 kids in a booth behind us! And the parents sat at a table about 2 tables away?????

The oldest kid must have been 10!? And the youngest like 2??? They were kicking our booth, loud, the little 2 yr old leaning over our side, pulling the window blinds and banging them ,getting up from the table, snot running down her face over to our side. B and I glared at the mother MANY TIMES. We were both so ticked, and the Mom had an infant with her at the grown ups table. Im sorry but if you are going to bring that many children into the world, either bring more adults to supervise, SIT at a table with your OWN children, or go eat elsewhere like McDonalds with a playground you know?

My mom saw something similar at the movies with a Mom bringing a load of kids in, and some were small and then LEAVING them at the theatre for a babysitter, where she went Lord knows.

We all headed home, kids got to bed, B and I got comfy and laid down, poor guy is so beat with his week. I put something cute on,,, OH! After work I hit up Barnes and Noble and read some more. Then I went and did 3 laps at the park in the heat of the day and got some sun on my arms for some more color. It was kinda nice actually!

So I was reading the book some more, granted its for Wives, and Im ahead of the game, but still its a good read I think. I was reading the sex chapter. I even asked B about what it said this AM. How many men in the book said they saw more skin, lingerie, etc when they were not married, Once they married many wives went into Frumpy syndrome, sweat pants, oversized tshirts, not putting make up on anymore, etc.

And it said men dont seem to mind their women even if they put on a little weight, they just like their femininity. And all that men usually worry about is there women getting fat.

So this AM I wondered if B thought that, and just mentioned what the book said. Hes all “Yeah its true” Interesting, not that a man wont love a larger woman, oh I dont know how to explain it.

The book talks about mainly how we want men to be all sensitive and romantic and expect so many things from them, we complain, but if they make a need known we go berserk and get all hurt.

The only thing I didnt see covered was Women with a bigger sex drive then their Men. LOL, I know Im not alone in this one. So Im curious about that, mainly the book has more stories of women who withold or dont want sex, and about if they started iniatiating it more and wanting it theyd find their men wouldnt be so hungry for it…. LOL, well I guess that has backfired for me! My guy has totally backed away at times!

Granted its going well, he had no problems last night or this AM, wooohoooo. 🙂

And I do wonder if it will change with him living with me, not going home alone, he told yesterday “What should I do with my porn CDs?” for his computer, We agreed toss them, I dont want them around here.

And he wont be alone to masterbate and all that, he said something to me about that, hes always been very open about how he is, so like I said I will be curious on this with him living here, He knows there are things with children around that arent cool, which is good and he respects.

But I dont want to stay Living together for too long, so I was thinking how I should approach the Engagement issues, he asked me if I had a deadline in mind. I was thinking by end of this year, and was thinking about going and looking at rings some time myself, I dont think hed want to be drug around to look, hed be happier if I just showed him what I liked, and I dont care if its a mutual decision and we talk about it and do it, instead of it all being hush hush and a surprise, Im okay with that, and I know he likes feedback also as he says he isnt always good at that stuff. I dont want a costly ring, and I am thinking I may prefer something other than gold, Maybe silver or white gold or what have you, I havent looked at jewelry in some time and Ive changed over from gold to silver. I guess Im viewing all of this as WE are getting engaged and not I WANT to get engaged so talking in that terms does seem to make things more productive, he doesnt feel like its all up to him.

Its just so wild ya know? Waking up this AM with him, its so new in many ways, funny after so many years I thought it wouldnt be much having him here, but it does feel different, new, more committed. He left this AM and put his arms around me outside, kept kissing me, not in a rush to run off, I was more ready to get back inside, and he said he would be late, not sure if hed be able to call me tonight, but not to take it personal and that he loves me. He hugged me, told me he loved me,,,

Damn this is just so wild ya know? I guess I didnt think wed ever get to this place, and WOW, here we are.

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