Would This Buy You?

Dear Diary,

::::::Sigh::::::

So I wrote B an email today around 2pm today asking if he was coming out tonight or tomm. He wrote me back and didnt answer the question.

I left work, came home later and found this email

Vicky,
haha Sorry I totally missed your question about coming up. I thik tonight It doesnt look like I have a ton of work to do so.. I shouldnt need to hit OT tommorrow. so…

But at the same time… =0P~~~`

So I was a little miffed as in my first email said I was leaving in a few and I get this well after I left work and would get this email after 6pm or so.

I go to Barnes and Noble at 7:30, hang with my girlfriend and her kids and Mom and get caught up. Then I went and read some more of the book Ive been working on, yes improving relationship stuff type of books. I finally leave at 9:30 pm, wondering why B hasnt called, looking at my cell phone. So on my way out I called him, he answers sleepy. I said “Are you asleep already?” He said “Yes” I said “Well I didnt hear from you” Hes all sorta half laughing and said “I guess I fell asleep” I said “Well want you to let you go back to sleep?” He answered “Well yeah, not really, kinda sorta not reall” he says that phrase often by the way.

We sit there, and he says “Would that be okay with you?” I said “if you want to go back to sleep” He said Yeah, I said “Ill talk to you tomm” He said “Ill head up early tomm am, love you” and hung up.

Okay, so

I sit there, and Im trying my darndest to fill my head with positive things about B and moving forward. But this crap really does hurt, I mean, am I the only one whos seeing this non commital, non straightforward answering from him?

After all we discussed, I even tempted him last night with sexual things that I couldnt wait to do with him. And he sends me an email eluding to coming out, but then not with a face with a tongue sticking out? Once again leaving me with no real answer, leaving me waiting, wondering, and then I get angry…..

Im trying, I am,

And then I get pissed off Im reading books to work on how to be a better partner, and I feel defeated.

Im just really bugged, would you guys be?

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