I called B tonight,,, to pick up where we left off last night, it went okay, then it got tense, I cried, he began to talk and vent out frustration after fear after frustration, I listened, we didnt fight, but at several points I just said “What do you want with me?”
He tells me that when he suggested moving in with me I said No. Which yes that did occur awhile ago, I got all scared when he suggested it. So from that point on hes said hed get his own place here.
He griped about uprooting to pay for a place hes hardly in to be with me when he thinks Im unhappy with him and ready to walk away.
He said “You dont ask me to move in with you, so I figure you dont want that”
Anyways, on and on,,,, He said he would move in with me, would prefer it, but then said “You know, Dr Laura says you shouldnt shack up and all, so Id have to marry you, Vegas is a 3 1/2 hr drive” He told me “Ahh cmon you know youd get dental benefits” In a sarcastic giggly tone, he said “Cmon you know its tempting….” I was laughing,
At the same time crying, at the same time sitting there in emotional shock and exhaustion. Wondering the motivation, is this because he needs to find a place to live, or is it real?
……………. sorry stepped away from this entry for a few hours cause B called me back…
Will write more tomm as Im sooo tired,,, I didnt accept anything or say Yes at this point, told him I needed time to think about it……