Old Memories

Dear Diary,

Morning

AHHHHHHHHH!

It just feels like so much of the time there just are never enough hours in the day or time to really fully get on top of everything you know?

My 10 yr old has a California State report, its due Next Tuesday.

He basically has to make a page for every letter of the alphabet, the illustration has to be a certain size, and then the writing section. He has to write 3-5 sentences about the item pictured. But each item has to be pertaining to items on the list she gave him of what he needs contained, so you have to choose wisely to fill up all letters of the alphabet, Stuff like, state animals, flags, governor, manufactured goods, natural resources, Cali born famous people, and on and on.

Its actually very time consuming! I wish I had started it with him sooner. Thankfully he did start it himself, and has several illustrations done. So last night we did A, Arnold Schwarzengger(did I spell it right? lol) He did Q, Quail.
He did B, The Black Bear, and he did K Knotts Berry Farm for a tourist attraction.

And that was draining and took a bit of time to do all those, so we will be at it again tonight. And then we have to go to the computer and look up info for him to write.

So I only have Wed and Thursday nite left to work with him on this, then he goes to his Dads, when he returns, it will be Mem Day, and I really wanted to take the kids out for the day, but we will see how far we get on that report.

So the report is due Tuesday, My last Screenwriting class and deadline to turn in my short story is due Wed, And my son leaves for a Field Trip on June 3rd, I have to get him to the train station early in the morning as they are going for a day trip out of town to some historical sites( very cool field trip by the way!)

And me? Well Ive been the Toy cleaning mad woman. I buy, clean, restore older/used toys and resell them.

And so Ive been working on this at night.

Thats pretty much consuming my time as of late, when I get in these moods I dont really want to do much else. B said “Its my compulsive toy ladiness” and reminded me that he can get the same way when it comes to working on his computer.

But I dont forget to call him 🙂 But its funny, as of late hes so tired on the phone, he is talking till hes falling asleep on the phone, and Im all like “Okay babe, good nite, Love you!” and back to doing my projects.

Last night we were having dinner then my 7 yr old said “I wish Dad lived here” I said “Well I know you do, but Mom doesnt” And oldest said “Yeah cause then they would be fighting”

And youngest went on that if Dad was there he would do the cooking and make them his pancakes and then asked me “If Dad lived here who would have to buy the food?” I laughed as they thought partners had particular roles, I said “It doesnt matter who does that” But I reminded him that his Dad coming back was NOT what Mommy wants.

The thought of that is just ,,,, MAKES ME CRINGE!

Im so pissed off at him at the moment. Him calling an hour after dropping them off to ask if he has them the next weekend and needing me to go over their schedule AGAIN? I talked with my mom and we both agreed hes doing that just to talk or have contact.

I never did call him back.

But my youngest has been bragging about his dad constantly buying new DVDs or when they go to Walmart he always buys them a toy, and he just went on and on(when B and I went to Walmart Sunday eve when the kids came back)

My ex just called me this past week boohooing about how he feels bad for not paying me, then the kids come home bragging about 5 DVDs he just bought and all, and the kids dont get why i dont just buy that kinda crap all the time and are very bratty at the store wanting me to buy everything(mainly my youngest)

He also likes to ask me a lot how much things cost, things that are none of his business, and I have asked him why he asks me that. Like when I bought my sisters table, he said “For how much?” But he does this constantly with me.

My Mom told me Im too nice to my ex and I need to put more pressure on him to help support his children.

My son still didnt get his shoes back, nor has he gotten him a new pair.

So Im thinking Ill have to try sending my ex an email, I dont really want to talk to him over the phone, and just lay out the scehdule once again for him for the summer, and talk to him about helping me out financially and about the youngest bragging to me when he gets home about Dads spending purchases, yet Dad calls me all Boohoo to say he has nothing to give me.

I ran into an old neighbor from where I grew up at the gym, It was a Mom of one of the girls I played with, so got caught up on some of the happenings with all the old neighbor kids. She heard that one of them was Dead. 🙁 This was the kids 2 houses down from me. His Mom looked like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and they had bikers at their house all the time, we had the boy over once for dinner, we had pasta, he was about 6 and he ate it with his hands as if hed never had silverwear.

I havent seen any of these kids( I was the oldest, about 9 yrs older then most of them, and I pretty much babysat all of them, went places with them or their families, etc) As I spent 16 yrs on that Culdesac where everybody new your neighbor back in the day.

My old neighbors across the street moved out and the lady told me they moved and did not tell their Granddaughter where they went. They are elderly now.

The Grand daughter?

That is sweet Little D, well when she was tiny that is. My big sister was friends with their teenagers, then they all graduated highschool etc, I was just a little girl at the time.

Fast forward. The one girl is now a woman and has a child. The father is in prison. So she goes to work, I began to baby sit her daughter, every morning, EARLY it was dark out, and watched her half the day. She was about 4 or so then?

Well, her Mom was killed in a Freak Horse Accident, thrown off a horse and broke her neck, died instantly. So Little D was raised by her Grandparents.

She had no silbings and her Dad was in jail.

She had that long pretty dark hair and big dark eyes, a pretty little girl.

She would play with all of us kids and all, but she was the youngest on the block. When I was older and had my license, id stop by the street often, Little D would call me now and then too, She went with me to church once, she came to my old little apartment when my ex and I were first married. But what Ill never forget was…..

She asked me one day about the Cemetery, where her Mom was buried, I asked her if she wanted to go, she said yes. So we went over. Well she informed me she was not allowed to talk about her mom to her grandparents. They never took her to the cemetery either. Little D would tell me her Mom would visit her as a spirit in her room sometimes at night.

So we got to the cemetery and my heart sank when we found the spot, her Mom didnt even have a proper stone, just a little round tiny brick with a number and name for marker identication.

And Little D began to stomp her feet, and cry, and get angry and say “Mom! Why did you leave me!!??”

I knew this was important for her and just let her get it all out and didnt interrupt her. And seeing as nobody would ever talk about her Mom, well the poor thing.

I drove by my old street this past year and saw her, which I typically do, her house had teens drapped all over the place, all the neighbors complained, which Im gathering is why the grandparents moved without telling her where.

Little D’s face. She looks so much like her Mom, but shes so young still and her face is SOOOOO aged, the wrinkles, My God she is about 12 or more years younger then I am. She has been married, and I guess right now shes with an older man and pregnant. I would like to see her, as troubled as shes had her life when ever I see her, her eyes light up, she just hugs me and when I leave she will just say “I need to go to church with you again” or something like that and I dont even bring that up(heck I havent been to church in awhile myself!)

So anyways, running into the one Mom, will most likely put me in touch with her daughter and perhaps some of the others, I was thinking last night how nice it would be to have a get together reunion, with all of us neighbor kids. We were all pretty close for many years, and it all crumbled as we were the firs to move, then another family moved, then another, and a few were left, but we have all linked up somehow. I have contact numbers and info I just need to dig out, I think all of us girls are pretty local, the furthest being about 3 hrs or so away, and one of the boys is Air Force out of state but his parents are here and I have their number and email and all.

Well thats it for now….