Ugly Split Up

Good Morning,

:::Yawnnnnnnn:::

I so didnt want to go to work, just wanted to stay in bed with B this AM, ahh the thought of quitting work sounded so heavenly. But then I have to remember I have bills to pay and kids to take care of…. sigh, being a grown up sucks some days.

Well I called my oldest sis yesterday to see how she was doing considering the events that have transpired.

Her husband left for vacation for a week. They had a blow up right before his trip. Last I spoke to her he was moving in with a coworker, telling the girls when he got back from vacation. Well my sister said he went out with this “Other woman” While she is at home with the girls, my sister said “Victoria, the girls see me cry, I spoke to them and told them” Well her husband flipped out, Screamed and told her if he hated her before, now he really hates her, that he wants her out of his fucking house and away from his girls, that she is not taking everything he worked so hard for.

Okay, so I am not gonna speak so nicely about him now, I dont normally but Im pissed.

He then leaves for a weekend of guy fun out of state. But blames my sister, scares her, tells her everything is HIS now and he wants her out. BUT he leaves for vacation and leaves the girls with her?

FUCKIN IDIOT

My sister then got the youngest childs report card, Ds and F’s, then the school called about the Junior High oldest daughter, and they said shes been very moody, dealing with stuff from her past, and suicidal. So my sister calls up hubby on his vacation telling him whats up and he needs to talk to the girls. What does he says “What are you trying to do? Huh? What is this? I know your hoping this will make me hop on a plane and come home, well Im not, give it up”

This whole thing is just awful.

I asked my sister,, Do you have any legal rights to the girls?

So heres a brief rundown of the situation.

My sister and her ex husband owned apartments. Her current husband was married with a daughter and lived in them. Sister splits up from abusive husband and moves into the apartments. And then her current husband his wife split up.

They begin to talk, move in together. My sisters ex husband is the worst abuser Ive known thus far, he can tap dance all over my ex. My sister went through HELL and this guy took care of her, he was there for her.

My sister and him are dating now, and are concerned about his daughter with the mother. They go to court and he gets custody of her. The mom is a drug using, porn watcher and exposed the child to it.

My sister is there as she comes into the home, my sister takes her to her therapy, my sister works hard on this little 3 yr old, undoing all the abuse and relearning how to behave. They went through a lot of hard times getting this little girl in good shape. The therapist called my sis and he in and said “Are you two going to stay together?” And he said that this little girl could not suffer another abandonement, and so if my sis was not going to stick around, end it now for the childs sake.” They agreed to stay together.

My sis took care of the child, he worked a lot, hes a good provider, but my sister did all of the mothering and nurturing and teaching of the child.

The child calls her Mom, her real mom has not been involved in her life at all.

Sister has to file bankruptcy due to divorce to her ex, so her credit is now shot, she lost everything, property, retirement, etc. She helped her new boyfriend get his money in order, saving up for a home, clearing up his debts. He bought a house, and they moved in, set up home, things were going good.

Well my sis gets tired after awhile, she just feels like all he wants is someone to take care of his kid, hes not very responsible, sis said “Victoria, Ive raised mine already, Im not even married to him, and he wants all the perks of that?” My sis had a confrontation and said she was ending the relationship over this. He flipped out and went in the garage with a gun saying he was gonna kill himself. Police were called, my sis stupidly wrestled the gun away from him. He goes into the hospital, gets on meds and is in therapy.

We all told my sister to get out then.

She called us all and talked a lot, but she stayed.

She went to a dr, got on antidepressants, and this is where I saw my sister, the tough cookie, not put up with BS person, change. She became more carefree, cared less about her appearance, things didnt seem to phase her, she always said “I just take my happy pill”

They then went to Vegas and secretly married, she told none of the family.

I find out about a year and a half later, Im first family member she has told and she tells me not to tell anyone else.

Well about a year and a half ago contact is made via someone out of state, asking my bro in law and sis if they want to take on his daughters half sister. The grandparents and aunt cant deal with raising her any longer, are turning her over to the state. My sister and her hubby talk it over and said “How can we not take her?”

So the girl comes to live with them. Shes in Junior High, sweet thing, she lived in a very strict environment with relatives before, not much affection and love shown. Both the girls are happy to be together as when they were smaller they were together for a time but the other relatives kept them apart contact wise, until they didnt want her any longer.

So as of today, both girls have a home with my sister and hubby, both call my sister Mom and have bonded, My sister has raised the youngest for past 7 yrs, the other one the last year and a half, my sister has done it, and thats the truth, everyone knows that.

My sister said as far as teh youngest goes, theres nothing legal as my sister adopting her, the oldest, my sister said she is down along with the husband as her legal guardian.

Sooo, see where this is so frickin messy?

And Im sure the house is in his name only since he bought it before they got married, doesnt mean shes not entitled to anything, but it makes it tougher of course.

Its just overwhelming.

I feel so sick and horrible for the girls, they have become a part of our family, we all love them, they have both been through hell, abandonement issues. My sister was the black sheep as a teen, the rebellious one, so she has always been good with kids, her house is the one where all the teenagers or people come to hang out and talk.

I just ache so bad for them, more then my sister even, as she is holding up well and she will be okay, she and I have talked long and hard about now wasting time and energy and money after being divorced once before, the holding on and trying and fighting and all that crap. Its not worth it.

Its the girls, the girls, hes not with them, he works late allt he time, theyd end up being alone all the time if he gets them away from my sister, they would loose a mom, parental involvement, and hed probably just make sure they had a roof over their head and spend money on them, but thats it. Hes gonna destroy them emotionally if he does what he threatened.

My sister is scared, she said she has never seen him this angry, shes afraid of his return.

She has a meeting with an attny friday, therapist next week.

Meanwhile hes off playing somewhere as she is taking care of his girls, along with his brother who comes and watches them when shes at work, and who did this even during the marriage. I kid you not, my sister and her husbands brother are the ones who take care of those girls needs in so many ways.

More later…..

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