Turned Me Off

Dear Diary,

Its almost Midnight.

Well today I ran errands after work, went to the store, post office, thrift store, then about 5pm my cell rings. Its about the time Gym Dude is done at the gym. I look at my phone and see its him and dont answer. My cell minutes are maxed. Im charged now for Peak time.

I turned the ringer off. I had been thinking about asking him to sit and eat with me tonight, so I grabbed my phone back out of my purse and answered, I made it brief. He asked if I was coming to the gym. I said “Maybe later on” He said “Figures, the days I bring something for you, you dont show up” So I asked him if wanted to eat. So we agreed to meet up in a few. I drove to the gym after the thrift store. It was raining out the whole time. I pull up at the gym and there he is. Hes wearing his Step Dads Biker Leather Jacket and black beanie hat and a pair of jeans.

He runs over and first hands me some chocolate candy, nothing fancy, just a little package of those Chocolate Mint Swoops. I smiled. He then ran back to his truck and brings me a package of SOFT toilet paper, I just started laughing! He complains about my toilet paper that I dont buy the soft stuff. So he buys me a package. He then runs back and brings me a potted plant with flowers, He said “The last ones died. You can plant these in your front yard”

He was referring to the bouquet that he gave me for Vday that died. And then he said “I was hoping you would plant it by your front door so you would be reminded of me”

We drove over to In N Out. He sat down and looks at me and just starts in with the “Your so beautiful, I dont want to loose you,,,,, etc etc….”

I just wanted to hang out, kick back. Hes all serious and laying out the heavy duty I WANT YOU VICKY stuff, and I really didnt want to deal with that. He knows whats up.

He told me he thinks about me all the time…

Anyways, it was kinda uncomfortable. Then he reaches over and grabs my side, I dont have a flat stomach, and he likes to grab at it and tease me. And well, today it kinda pissed me off. I dont get all self conscious about it or anything but its like OKAY lay off. Then he starts to tell me I have a little mustache and should he bring me a razor?

I just ignored him. Why is he saying this shit?

We left, I stopped by my parents house to get some stuff and we hung out a little bit and talked to my Mom. He was nervous but chatty, Im talking to my Mom and he starts to pick rocks out of the bottom of my shoe, and then asks my mom where the trash is and apologizes for interrupting. I laughed finally cause I could tell he was so freakin nervous.

I then drove him back to the gym to his truck, he wanted to kiss me. I didnt want that. He will look so sad, almost serious and stone when i say goodbye, He will hang out with me as long as I allow. I could just call him and I kid you not hed be here at my house. I know this.

Sigh

It was just so much pressure on me. He just kept saying things eluding to how he wants me in his life, repeating this stuff in so many different ways and me just telling him to let me figure out my own stuff first.

Reminding him he has a choice himself, I dont make him do anything.

I dunno,,,,

It kinda turned me off some….