Dad Lies

Dear Diary,

Ahhh Ive been wanting to write, its 9:30, I let the kids stay up an extra 30 min past bedtime, B wants me to call him, and Im just wanting a moment to MYSELF. So everything else can wait ya know?

I wanted to write about my kids. I picked them up from school today and my oldest is getting in the vehicle and says “Mom, the judge said when we are 13 we can pick where who we want to live with right?”

Im all ???

I said “No?” Hes all “But Mom, Dad said the judge said so”

So I proceeded to tell them this was not the case, that his Dad and I never went before a judge over the kids, that we saw a mediator and I explained to them how we sat down with a lady and worked out how often we would be with them, each of us.

My oldest then said “But Mom we dont want to be with you all the time”

I said “Hun, Id like you to see your Dad more, but thats up to your Dad. Your Dad had more time with you but he said he could not do it. Do you remember? Mommy asked that when we saw the mediator, your Dad had you Wednesdays nights and took you to school thurs AM, and he had you overnights sun and took you to school on Monday also, remember?” My son said “Yes” and I then told him “Your Dad said he could not do that anymore and stopped after 2 mos”

Then my oldest said “Mom, when do we get to have Christmas with Dad?” I said “Hun this last Christmas was yours” He said “But Mom we were with you” I said “Hun, Your Dad called and asked me to take you Christmas eve. He was supposed to be with you guys until the eve of Christmas Day. He said “But why Mom?” I said “Hun, I dont know you have to ask your Dad”

From there my little one was asking me “Mom why did you and Dad separate” I asked them “Do you guys remember why?” Little one said No, oldest said “Because you guys fight” I said “Yes, the fighting, its okay for adults to argue and fight, but its not okay to scream and yell and call eachother bad names and break things” My oldest said “You guys broke stuff?????” I didnt go any further. Do I tell them now? About their Dad punching holes in the walls and driving erratic and throwing things? And I could just see them going to their Dad next visit and their Dad saying I was a cheater and saying crap about me and men.

So I was limited in what I said to them especially for their ages right now.

From there we went into the Racism issues as little one talked about Abe Lincoln and the good things he did and we discussed slavery and turned it all back around to the racism issue and their Dads beliefs.

So Im sitting there telling my kids that their Dad is not always right, that they need to check things out that they hear and not just believe what somebody says, that one day they will be older and able to decide within their hearts what they believe. I discussed their friends and neighbor family, the boy they play with, hes hispanic and philipino and his friend AJ from school who is black, how God made us all, doesnt matter our color or where we are from.

It was a good talk, the kids were in a good mood actually, helpful and great with homework time. Oldest asked “Mom, is B coming over?” I said no, didnt think so, heck he just went home today!

We drove over to the college to find my classroom for tomm. The kids questioned me about college and how it works. Then little one says “Mom, Dad is going to get a Jeep, hes going to get one with leather seats and a tv inside” I said “Hun, why dont wait till your Dad has it before you brag” He said “But Mom he is getting it!” I said “Hun, your Dad said he was getting a house too” He said “Well someone else got the house” I said “Yes, exactly, dont brag about something until you see it okay?” and I explained to them this trait about their Father. How he talks and brags, but coming through on his word, thats where the proof is, dont go off words and promises. Look for the actual proof that comes from doing and showing.

Ahhh boy, its tough sometimes, the kids look up to us as parents and believe us. And they do not understand their Dad lies.