What The?

10 Feb 2004 – What The?
Dear Diary,

Dammit Im all freakin weepy today at work, this is so how I get when Im having PMS!But that shouldnt be until around the 19th.

Im just dwelling over what happened this weekend, mainly the “Fuck You” comment to me in the kitchen with my son nearby.

B apologized and all that, he wrote me an email this ….

“It was nice to see you this weekend. I had fun hangin out and such. Nice to have resolved our little conflict that perhaps before might have been more damaging. Nothing is perfect or always easy and such, but do-able. Luvs ya”

And I couldnt write him back and say Yeah, Im glad its worked out too. Even though I do think we cleared up the Valentines Day confusion, its the part about the cussing that I cant seem to shake off me and let go right now, I look back and say “Well what could I have done different?” I could have told him I will not be spoken that way and told him he needed to leave. But it kinda got overshadowed.

But in reality, that was where the convo went poorly and yes he is to blame for that.

I brought up a question in a calm manner and no name calling, and that was what he retaliated with. Which was pretty strong.

I just wrote B an email….

Hiya,

I think Im trying to look at what is bugging me today?

And its what happened in my kitchen.

I agree with you, I think we worked out the valentines day issue just fine as the communicating about it.

Its the sting of the F you in the kitchen with my son in earshot that still is troubling me and I cant forget right now.

I dont know how to just shake that off and feel okay. I vowed during the time with my Ex Husband I would not let a man speak to me that way, and that I teach my kids what is acceptable in a relationship, and that was like such a strong blow and statement.

I just need you to know the impact that had on me,