Jerks Vs Nice Guys
Dear Diary,
I wrote an email to one of my guy pals from the abuse forum who I talk to about issues often.
I appreciate what he had to say in response to my letter…
It gives me much to think about.. It really does, I dont have the answers to his questions yet, but I think what he said was right on also…
Anyways, here it goes…
He wrote…
Not sure how this will come out, Vick, but here it goes.
Men the world over bemoan this simple fact over and over. You treat a woman like crap and be a self-centered dick, and they are irresistably drawn to you. Treat them with love and kindness, and they are grossed out by it.
Perhaps your ExBF is being a little *too* accomodating right now…he’s trying to make up for the times he wasn’t there for you when he should of been. But I read you sitting there wishing he’d just be an unattainable jerk again, along with you sexually longing for a man who has erectile problems!
It seems, Vicky, that there is an issue here with you being more attracted to what’s NOT there, than to what is right in front of you. And honestly, I don’t think the problem really is with these men; this is something you have to examine in yourself; why are you more attracted to what is not there than what is?
Do you honestly want to commit to a man who’s going to be a whiny pain in the ass with PROBLEMS, or do you want a man who cares about how you feel and is willing to go the extra mile for you? Do you want your relationships to always be a struggle? Ask yourself if this is indicative of you needing a struggle, a challenge, and ask yourself why you need this because love is not supposed to be a constant struggle!
I hope I don’t sound too harsh…but think about it and ask yourself those questions. Take the concern away from these men and point it at yourself and see what you come up with.