New Dog?

Dear Diary,

Morning. 🙂

Well went to dentist yesterday and was only there like 10 min, the filed down the filling a little and want to see if that helps. So I had over an hour before therapy so I went to the gym early, which was nice since it wasnt crowded at that time. I then headed to therapy. I am just amazed at some things that happen between going in, since I go about every 3 weeks. So much happens or develops. So Ive been coming in with good news so many times lately. First the panic anxiety discovery, ever since becoming aware of it and talking about it Im doing so much better, then the divorce being final and ex signing. Then the talk of having friendships and all thats developed and occured since then. It feels really great you know!

I have to say the week with Jen out was a really good kick start for me, since I was busy and didnt have time I wasnt all needing B around or calling him each day etc, and Ive pretty much kept with not doing so much ever since the “Im too Available” talk, and well since Ive pulled back, its quite nice the response Im getting from him.

So we talked in therapy about B and I and the discussions we have had, and about the too available talk, and how I took it. I told her how I took it that he doesnt want to be around me. She said “Did he say those words?” Im all “NO” but I tend to take it so personal and as rejection. Anyways, we talked about how B is acting now, and she said its confusing to her too! LOL Shes all “wait wait wait, when he changes on you do you say anything?” I told her Im often times confused at the moment and still processing whats going on so I dont often say something to him right off cause Im usually like HUH? Ill journal or talk to a friend about it first.

But she commended B and I for how we talk, how its very “REAL” as she put it. And I told her that B said Im fatalistic. And she went over how B is so negative, and how we perhaps are feeding off eachother negativewise about the relationship. Not that its intentional. But it gave me something to think about.

She did ask me about B in a future sense. Do I want to be married again? Do I want it with him? Why not? Do I think he will change? etc etc. And to be honest I said I really didnt know, at this point, NO, I could not be with him as a husband, live in partner, co parent with my kids. Hes not up to that at all and I wouldnt want him in that.

And I also told her Im very protective of my house, and my finances, after being with my ex for so long and his bad money habits, Im getting to be in good shape and I dont want to intermingle that.

So she said “Is this your general view on the future, with anyone?” I said “no” I think I could have more of that with another person. Its not a blanket statement, but with B, and this point in our lives and his? NO.

We then talked about my teacher. She was all “Ohhh Do tell” haha, she loved hearing me talk about him, and how Im attracted to how passionate he is, and the suggestion on inviting him to film events, the way I believe Marsala last left a comment, such as “My boyfriend isnt very interested in these things, so I was wondering if youd like to be my guest” type approach. That way its not asked like a date, it puts forth my status, but also can help build a friendship with teach if it could happen. Since we share some common interests.

Okkayy so I left there, and did some food shopping and got the kids, well a few hrs after I got home I was going out front and this adorable dog walks up my walkway! Im like “Well hello who are you?” You could tell she is young, and she had boxer features( I have a boxer) so I liked her right off, I asked my son if she has been wandering around the neighborhood. He said yes and that some boy was walking around asking anyone outside if it was their dog. So I pet her, shes about midsized. Shes not very old, but not tiny little puppy, but still a pup. Tan colored, with a white chest and paws, and black around her snout.

I let her in the house, she was just simply adorable and sweet. The kids loved her, and I said Id hold her if I could or take her out to the pound, My dog has never gotten along with another dog. Ive tried, my sister tried, thats why we got him because he was fighting constantly with her 2 other dogs and full of bites and having to be tied up. So I said it was worth a shot, I put her on a leash and took her out back to meet my dog. And well? Its the day later and shes still out back with him! He likes her! He doesnt pin her and growl at her which he normally does to a dog within 5 min of meeting them. They play too, its sooo cute!

I am just shocked since Ive never seen my dog be like this with another. I called my sis whos had many boxers also, and shes all “Well its perhaps because shes female, and young” She said if it was a male it would be a different story. My dog is fixed also so no worry about that issue or puppies.

I took her pic and sent it to B, and as I looked at the pic, She didnt look fully boxer, B said she looks Pit Bull and Boxer, shes really beautiful and sweet as can be, but the Pit Bull of course makes me a little uneasy, Im not sure thats what the mix is, but I can see it, its in her face, the rest of her looks boxer. So theres so much negative stuff out on Pit Bulls, and I need to find out exactly what she is too, is it a good idea to keep her if she is not claimed. Ive been wanting another dog but never thought my dog would go for it, so they spent the whole eve, then overnight together, she was so good! So thats what makes me think she has a home, shes very loveable and didnt really whine much either being out back with my dog all night in a strange place. I went out back this AM and there she was sleeping on his blanket, and he was in his dog house.

The only thing is my dog gets jealous when I pet her, which is understandable, so Ive been making sure to pet him first thing, and then will pet her with my other hand, but I go to my dog first.

So I dont know, Im gonna call the pound today and ask some questions. I also went to feed her this AM and Im guessing she still cant eat really well? The dry food as she seemed to only eat a little bit and had trouble with it? So any dog people? Would you buy her soft food or something? I havent really looked at her teeth and am not sure for how long they have the puppy teeth.

Ill pick her up some other food on my way home from work and see if she eats that.

Shes beautiful though, I fell in love with her right away, shes so cute she will just flop down on the ground really fast when she wants to lay down and flop her head down and it will flap on the ground, Im like “oohhh stop your too cute!” Shes a pretty color, lean, just a nice looking dog. So we shall see what happens, if I keep her around and if my dog stays agreeable with her, and if I get word of a missing dog like her.

Latersssss