Yucky then Nice Weekend

Dear Diary,

Morning. 🙂 Ah what a weird weekend I had.

It felt kinda crappy at the start, and ended great. Ahh my life at times, I think things are so horrible one day, the next Im so happy and content ( for a day) haha

I went to B’s friday night, It poured rain on the drive which sucked, freeway nightime driving for an hour in the rain is not fun.

And it was my first time going to the new place so finding the streets at night in the rain and his address, Well I found the place really easy, the parking lot was soooo flooded it was up to my ankles so my shoes were soaked and the bottoms of my pants.

I got in and well its a cute little place. I always love seeing peoples home, different places. I seem to always imagine myself living in each place I see. I play in my mind what it would be like,, with my furniture, what if I lived here, type game. Its kinda fun.

I scope out places for one day if I move, what would I like?

So this was a townhome, it was nice, since its a guys pad. Hes got some taste, its very simple but the decor has a nice artistic touch. Its not cheapo crap messy, its modern clean and simple.

So I go upstairs to B’s new room. ITS BIG! Its nice, Hell It was like being in some hotel suite haha. I was joking with him about that. The cielings are vaulted and huge. There is a archway in his room to a den area. Yes he has a den off to the side of his room, AND a bathroom in there too! So no running down the hall to a shared bathroom! Yay! We can walk around naked and in the night to the bathroom! LoL

B bought a new tv, vcr and a tv table. I can just see how far hes come. He was living in a bedroom that barely fit his bed and desk. I remember when he was so broke and couldnt even fix his car or pay a phone bill. He set up his own phone line now, and paid off his one debt left from a past phone bill. And his tax money owed was taken care of this year. So hes all good with 2 debtors. Im proud of him. 🙂 And well its just nice to see him be able to buy things now

Hes not frivilous, but he hasnt had a tv in over a year and gave me his old one.

Friday sucked, I was emotional, the rain, I didnt really want to drive to Hollywood in it, and I know how B hates driving in rain. And well I opted out to going out, said I wanted dessert, but just got feeling he didnt want to go out, and I changed my pants and new Id get them wet again in the flooded parking lot. So I just stayed in with him. And well then the no sex him just going to sleep. I was like “Woohoo what a great way to celebrate my ex signing the papers” So I started to cry, I wasnt ready to sleep and felt so alone even though B was right beside me.

Well we ended up talking till about 2am. He doesnt like it if I cry and say nothing, he said it pisses him off. That I need to talk about whats up. And I tell him sometimes Im afraid to say whats up. So I addressed a few thoughts, fears, etc. The sex thing. Telling him that if it were someone else and I told him about their boyfriends lack of wanting sex hed say “Hes cheating” And B new I was right when I said that. So Im like “So this doesnt apply to you does it?” And then I addressed my asking him about sexual fantasies, etc. And how he said he has none. I asked him if hes regularly masterbating, he said no more like once a week now.

Anyways, we would get down the core of something and then both speak about how we viewed it, etc. And finally B said “Man we are both on different pages huh?” Which is basically what was happening. I think we finally got too tired, just snuggled up and went to sleep.

I woke up about 10am, with B in my face, smiling at me all cute and close. He said “I feel better now” He was saying how he was tired and sore from moving the night before. Hes all cmhere woman, and well just wanted to make love to me. 🙂 As we were making love he said “Victoria, I do love you, and when you asked me what my fantasies are, you are my fantasy, the fact that I get to make love to you is a fantasy in itself, here I have this hot beautiful woman on top of me” and well yeah he gets points for that one, haha

He had to leave a little after noon since he was meeting up with his friend, and going to the concert that night. So we went and grabbed some lunch at Jack In the Box and then I said bye bye. I stopped by Mr Obnoxious apartment on the way out, he lives 5 min from B! How wild is that! I hung out for about 45 min and he proceeded to put B down, said hes a nicer guy then B, that B and I are way too different and dont have much in common, and that if I was with him, hed treat me like a princess” He also cut down where B lives??? Hes all saying “NICE NEIGHBORHOOD” Im like ???? It looks very nice. The places are nice, its very nicely landscaped. And Mr Obnoxious place isnt half as nice at ALL. Hes always knocking everything, and then bragging about how cheap his rent was. Mr Obnoxious is paying $850 for his own apartment, 1 bedroom, its small, and well not that great looking if you ask me. B’s sharing a townhome, paying $600 and his room and den are about the size of Mr. O’s entire apartment. And the place has more privacy and is much nicer looking.

So we chit chatted a bit and I checked out his snakes. His cat kept wanting to come out(Im allergic) so he was telling her to go away over and over, so she was doing rounds in the room lol.

I tried calling Mr Comedy, we were supposed to hang out, we had it set to do this for over a week and he called me fri nite to see if we were still on. I said Yes. So he said “Ok call me tomm” So I called about 1, no answer, so I left a message. He called back after 3, said he didnt think I was gonna follow thru? Im like “I told u last night yes” Hes all “But you didnt call this AM” Im like “I was supposed to call you in the morning??” Its saturday, please, people like to sleep in. Anyways, he said he was gonna take a hour nap then would call me back and we can go from there. Well guess who never called back??? I just said fuck him and didnt call him or chase him down.

I took a 3 hr nap myself. I had a headache so I slept it off finally. Talked to both my sisters, then got on the computer. Ended up talking to Music dude and he said I could chill with him since he was home with his daughter. So I ended up going to hang out with him. I love his house, hes renting, but I love the feel of it. Its in a crappy spot and you wouldnt know how cool it is from the outside, but oooh I love it. He got a new light and wall mirror from the old club he worked in, they are sooo cool. I swear I so want a house like it one day. Its always been my thing, an older Craftsman style bungalow house, sigghhh or some spanish style old house. I love those places.

One day right?

His teenage best friend just died. He was in Europe and so Music dude didnt have all the details yet of what happened. So he got a call that night that it was Heroin. 🙁

I swear while I was there, Music dude smoked ciggs non stop. Smoked pot twice, took his anti depressants, drank tea, and then a bag of chocolate cookies. Im like ugh watching how much crap went into his body in such a short amount of time, no wonder hes so sickly skinny. Hes hammering his body. And his new boss told him he needs to smoke more pot for the anxiety attacks. I swear I think it all just makes it worse to be honest. No wonder his girlfriend was on him over his health, hes not a youngin anymore, its hard on the body.

And I made some comment on how much he smokes, asked him does he always smoke that much and hes all “Hey, dont be giving me shit on this ok, you arent my girlfriend” And then he proceeds to say how he wants to quit and that he needs a girlfriend to give him an ultimatum that she will leave him if he doesnt quit” Im like ugh,, I think it hit me at that moment WHY things never really panned out with us. I dont do well with people who abuse things in excess. Music dude doesnt drink at all, but hes got so many other vices, and that totally turns me off. I grew up with an alcoholic dad, and so personally I am watchful of things. I wasnt into B for several years because of his drinking, its what kept my attraction to him at a friend level for years, and why I didnt even consider dating him. So when he and I got together, it happened unexpected, and well hes not returned back to that drunk depressed guy I once knew years back.

So Sun I was cleaning house, and tried to call B about coming over, but no answer, figured after the concert hed crash at his friends place and not drive home till next day. So about noon I got ahold of him. We talked a bit, he had errands to do, so I said Id talk to him later, so Im cleaning house and thinking “What am I doing, why clean? Its your free weekend, let the cleaning go!” So I showered, got ready quick and headed to get gas, called B and said “want me come over?” hes all “Sure? Why didnt you come sooner?” Im all “I thought you were busy?” Hes all “So you could have still come over” Im like “Hush, Im coming now, I cant stay long though, have to get back for the kids, so I have about 2 hrs to spend with u once Im down there” So I moved my butt on over. I ended up calling my ex, to ask if he wanted the kids a few hrs longer. This was the first time ever Ive called and asked him such a thing. Hes been showing up 2-3 hrs late on his nite to get them, due to his commute. So I figured its worth a shot to ask, worst is he will say No. Well he said hed keep them till 8-8:30 as opposed to 6pm. So that gave me more time at B’s which was cooool. 🙂

So B and I went shopping for stuff for his place, just toiletries n things. Hes so cute, this was our second time out shopping like this, and both times hes commented on how he enjoys it with me. Just browsing silly store stuff, and my memory list of what he needed since he couldnt remember it all. And me being able to locate stuff in stores and good buys. B’s frugal with money and so am I so he appreciates that about me too.

So he stops in the codomn isle, he had said how he was almost out we needed to stock up. So he picks out “For her Pleasure” ones. 🙂 Then we are looking for a new shower head for his shower. And hes having a hard time deciding, and he doesnt really care for the detachable shower heads, which I have. I said “I like it, but Im a female, those are nice for our hard to reach places” I was just being silly, I didnt care what he bought, but later he picks out a removable one and Im like “I thought you didnt like that kind?” Hes all “Well, I have you to think about too” Im like “Dont pick it out for ME its your shower” Hes all “No its fine, I want you happy also”

Im like “Wow, first the condomns for HER pleasure, and now the shower head?” hes all “Shut up punk” And I gave him a kiss in the aisle.

We got back to his place and I offered to help him put some stuff away. So I put away his dresser clothes that were all over the floor. And he set up his computer to the phone line and all.

We laid around, and he informed he was going out to Sushi with friends at 7. So he didnt know Id be there as late, but I was welcome to come. I said I would but couldnt stay long. Since I had about a 45 min drive home and the kids getting back around 8-8:30.

Man this is what I hate about getting kids back on sun nites as opposed to ex keeping them till mon AM. B and some of his friends do a regular sun nite sushi outing. And I never get to go.

Anyways, so we are laying there, B unpacks the package of condomns waving them at me all silly, the tears one off and leaves it out smiling at me.

I was so giggly. Hes all “You know we have an hour and a half till dinner?” Im all OH?? Mind you Im not complaining but Im not iniating these days, leaving it to him. So well we got all comfy under the sheets. hehe

I swear, I cannot emphasize it enough. BUT God I love making love to that man. Whenever I do Im like “How on earth can I not want more of this?”

Hes all about pleasing, hes considerate, he wants the woman taken care of, he knows how to touch me, and I am a person who doesnt have problem with multiple orgasms. And well with his piercing he feels so awesome, etc etc. It just is a wonderful combo. It doesnt take much to turn me on to be honest.

🙂 So we laid around a bit, then I got cleaned up for dinner. We drove to the Sushi place where we met up with 3 others. This was my second time having sushi with B. Im still new to it, but I at least new of a few things I like. So I had a Tempura Roll, and a Deep friend roll, and tried a few other things. OMGOSH I was SOO FULL!

The other guy with us, is the guy B was living with, the guy Ive known forever since before B. This guy hung out with me and my ex even so thats how far back he goes. Hes a big guy, loud and silly, and so I was sitting by him, and the other guy is a big guy too, hes in the chat room and always flirting with me, so I finally met him, and then this girl. She was loud but super nice and fun kinda gal. I really had a good time. We laughed, talked about horror films, since the guy Ive known forever hates horror movies and said he screams like a girl, so it was nice to have him on my side during the horror movie talk lol. I think B thinks Im a certain way, and I so love going out with groups of people, and well I just relaxed and laughed, made jokes, it was so nice. I kissed B, he walked me out when I had to leave early, and hugged me in the parking lot and kissed me which was all cute n sweet, and well I just left in such a happy mood.

Last night he said he had a great time with me on the phone, said “I hope you dont mind my loud friends” And well I guess its like??? I know these people too? I said “B, I like going out with others too” We just dont do it much.

So we both laid in bed on the phone and laughed watching Anna Nicole together. Hes all “Oh wow, now I feel so bonded with you” lol, since hes not had a tv and only gets to watch it with me. We laughed together then went to bed.

Nice end to my weekend that felt a little crappy at the start. B also apologized for the start of it, that we didnt get to do much, and that we will do it soon to make up for it. 🙂

Ok so I did the survey from Jen’s Diary…

LAYER ONE:

— Name: I dont give out all my info here, so some Ill be vague on. Victoria

— Birth date: 1972

— Birthplace: California

— Current Location: California

— Eye Color: Brown

— Hair Color: Reddish Brown with blonde highlights

— Height: 5 feet, 6 inches

— Righty or Lefty: Righty

— Zodiac Sign: Libra

LAYER TWO:

— The shoes you wore today: My black suede like vans

— Your weakness: Cookies, desserts

— Your fears: Fear of unknown? The Future, thats too broad for me.

— Your perfect pizza: Meat Lovers pizza with thick crust

— Goal you’d like to achieve: Act one day

LAYER THREE:

— Your thoughts first waking up: If Im under stress or upset about something it pops into my head first thing, other then that, I hit my snooze 2 more times before getting up.

— Your best physical feature: My hair and my smile

— Your bedtime: Around 11pm-Midnite

— Your most missed memory: Working for a in home party business and being successful, the promotions, the meetings, the prizes, the trips, all the girls I hung out with.

LAYER FOUR:

— Pepsi or Coke: COKE

— McDonald’s or Burger King: Burger King

— Single or group dates: I like both, miss group dates actually

LAYER FIVE:

— Smoke: NO

— Cuss: A little, mainly when Im really upset or in my diary do I cuss.

— Sing: Yes mainly when Im driving

— Take a shower everyday: Yes

— Have a crush(es): Yes

— Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes

— Want to go to college: Yes I am right now

— Like(d) high school: No, couldnt wait to get out. I was shy and didnt date or have much fun. Id do it differently if I had another go at it.

— Want to get married: Not sure

— Believe in yourself: at times I doubt, but ultimately yes.

— Get motion sickness: on rollercoasters

— Think you’re attractive: Yes

— Think you’re a health freak: No. I like to work out and lay off certain food items but I dont think Im a freak about it. I love my junk food.

— Get along with your parent(s): Yes , but just dont feel close to my Dad and kind of avoid him lately.

— Like thunderstorms: yes when Im with my partner, laying in bed together listening to it

— Play an instrument: Used to play Piano for MANY years.

LAYER SIX:

In the past month…

— Drank alcohol: Yes

— Smoked: No

— Done a drug: No

— Had Sex: yes

— Made Out: Yes

— Gone on a date: Yes

— Gone to a mall?: Yes

— Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Hmm about a half, those things are evil!

— Eaten sushi: haha yes yesterday

— Been on stage: Yes ( High School Lip Sync performances) Choir in church.

— Been dumped: When I was first dating in highschool, guy dumped me a week after we became a “Couple” because I was a christian and not into having sex.

— Gone skating: Yes

— Made homemade cookies: ugh not in forever, I buy them made

— Gone skinny dipping: No, but want too

— Dyed your hair: yes

— Stolen anything: Yes as a kid I did.

LAYER SEVEN:

Ever…

— Played a game that required removal of clothing: No, but would like too.

— Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Once or twice in my life, but never passed out or puked or had a hangover.

— Been caught “doing something”: Yes

— Been called a tease: yes.

— Gotten beaten up: No

— Shoplifted: Yea I did

— Changed who you were to fit in: slightly

LAYER EIGHT:

— Age you hope to be married: I dont know. Dont think I care about an age if I remarry.

— Numbers and Names of Children: I am undecided. Possibly ONE more if the relationship was right and we both wanted to have one. Otherwise I dont think I want more or will have anymore children.

–Describe your Dream Wedding: Romantic, outdoors, sorta Robin Hood looking with a natural outdoor greenery, simplictic, but beautiful.

— How do you want to die: I think wed all prefer to die in our sleep or something.

— What do you want to be when you grow up: I want to be an entertainer( I think)

— What country would you most like to visit: Anywhere, since I havent seen much, but of Course Europe would nice.

LAYER TEN:

— Number of drugs took illegally: one time, pot.

— Number of people I could trust with my life: My family, B, and a few close friends longtime friends.

— Number of CDs that I own: Not too many, around 20. I get rid of them after awhile when I no longer listen to them

— Number of piercings: Just my ears

— Number of tattoos: none

— Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 2 times that I remember

— Number of scars on my body: 1. Chicken Pock scar on forehead, one on leg. 2. Faint scratch on cheek from bushes as a kid.

— Number of things in my past that I regret: Well I would do things differently in many situations of course now, but I think thats what makes us who we are, is our experiences in life. So its hard to say that you REGRET something for me. Im not thrilled or proud of myself at times, but you learn right?