Still a Grumpy Girl

Dear Diary,


Morning. Ok Im still in a funky mood. I need to get something good to eat for Lunch today. Think Im gonna go to Subway in a little while.


So my mood is still kinda bleh. I laid in bed watching TV. About 10:30 I got up to put my oldest in bed, he fell asleep on the living room floor. My phone then rang. I knew it was B. I answered and was happy to hear from him, said I needed to call him right back. He said “Well, Im gonna go in the jacuzzi, so Ill call you back in about 30 min?” I said Ok. Why on earth did he call then?


Yeah I was in a pissy mood. I guess its the chick over at the house whos visiting. The one he was in the jacuzzi with when I arrived on Friday. Watching her get up and sit with her legs up exposing her crotch right in B’s face. But I mean cmon, I dont sit with my legs open in a bikini in front of a guy.


And this is the chick who is friends with his ex, so I guess it just feels a little wierd is all. Sunday I brought my bathing suit and asked B if we could go in the jacuzzi, he even called me when I was heading back over and said hed fire up the jacuzzi. Well when I got there, others had arrived. B informs me there is no way hes going in with 2 certain people in the jacuzzi. So I kinda wanted to go still, I was looking forward to it, but before I knew it people were already out and back in the house, I asked B about going in still, then he went and said the heat was already turned off. :::Sigh::: Soooo didnt happen.


I was talking yesterday to Music Dude about the sex, about how I try to do or plan or talk about romantic things to do and B just kinda blows it off, doesnt seem at all intriqued. I guess Im just not used to that. Foreplay isnt just touching, to me its talking and flirting also.


So I guess yesterday when I didnt hear from him I figured hes hanging out with the chick visiting. Yeah I get jealous. And Im like “I bet ya they are in the jacuzzi again”


Well they werent, he was watching a movie, I have no idea if it was with her, but then he was going to get in the jacuzzi. He didnt say with her, but B doesnt go sit for 45 min by himself in a jacuzzi that late at night.


Well I started to get sleepy, so he called me later then he said he would, and I didnt answer, I let the machine get it. He left a message being all cute, saying he loved me, kissy noises, and thanking me for the letter I left on his bed.


So why am I so freakin irritable? Is it just because I need to eat some protein and my blood sugar level is low? Perhaps?


I just want him to move out of that place, thank God its soon. And he will finally live with a Male.


In my mind Ive already wondered when is the next time we will really have time together. Next weekend I have my kids and he said he will probably move then. THe following weekend is my free one, B has plans to go to a concert with a buddy. So Im trying to pre plan this time in advice better to have something to do that night so Im not sitting home again.


I want to go to a concert actually myself. Its on my oldest child’s bday. I need to look if my ex will have the kids or not though first, and I have to find someone to go to the concert with. So we shall see.


See if my mood picks up later. Im kinda feeling standoffish with B. Not that I dont love him, Im just tired of iniating crap. I am always so there and available and have no life of my own. I think if I was busy more, had friends or things to do minus him hed wake up a little more to be honest.

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