My Weekend Recap

Dear Diary,

Morning. 🙂 Well lets see what did I do this weekend? Well Friday I had no plans really once the kids left. I just worked on things at home, talked to my girlfriend B on the phone, got things out of the cupboards for the garage sale.

I didnt get to bed till about 1am. Then I had to wake up at 7am for the sale. BLEH! I love sleeping in Saturdays. But I got up and groaned. So I go out the front door to the garage to go get the sign to put at the end of the block and what do I do??? I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE! Grrrrrrrr! Im 15 min away from my yard sale advertised starting time and I cant get my keys or purse or drive, or… BLAH! So I go and climb the back wall, knowing everything is locked but have to check everything just in case. Then my dog decides to come charging at me barking. LOL Here is his owner standing on the wall which isnt something hes used to. So I had to talk to him for a minute for him to realize its me, then he just stands there all cute and “OH” looking. So I try all the doors, sigh, NO LUCK. No windows, NOTHING. Its early on a saturday, I dont want to wake neighbors up for a phone really, and my mom has a spare key but she was prepping for a meeting at her house with guests arriving.

So I go the kitchen door and ended up kicking out the board my ex hung to cover a broken window on the kitchen door. Im like Uh, Ill deal with that later, but I was in!

So the sale is slow. I really just wanted to get rid of stuff, didnt care how much I sold it for, just wanted things GONE! I sold a lot of small nic nack and 50 cents here and there items, but I wanted to get rid of the furniture pieces most of all!

Usually sales in the past are busy in the early morning. Once noon hits its really slow and I usually dont sell much at all. Well after 1 the people came! And bought up all the furniture and large items except for one dresser my mom gave me and a tv table my sis gave me. I was so happy! I didnt have to lug all that stuff in by myself and I have my garage back! I cleaned out the garage really good. I made space to park in it again! YAY! And that will be it. My parents sold their apartments so no more mom bringing me stuff. Thats what has kept filling the garage up! And I removed three pieces of furniture from the house and sold 2. I still will eventually get rid of more inside but not until I can get new stuff. Im still in limbo over what to do with kitchen tables ( I have 2) And I like them both. But I either need to by chairs for the retro chrome 50s table from Mom. Or I need to paint and recover the cushions on the wood table I have with the fold up sides. But no rush to decide.

During the sale some shoppers were talking about church. I was overhearing the convo. Well then the one guy started mentioning the church I was in and how it started, so I jumped in and said yes I went there also. So once this woman left the guy came over to me, turns out hes a pastor, and he had commented on the woman that was at my house (She had hair almost touching the ground) And she believed that she could not cut her hair or else that was a sin.

Anyways, this pastor is starting a church that is meeting in the park right by my old house. He and his wife and daughter hung out awhile, gave me their card, he said he could tell by my countenance that I had a lot of hurt and once he started talking to me about church I started crying. I said a brief overview of whats happened and the divorce. He was very nice. Left me their address, phone number and said they will even come over and have a bible study at your home any day of the week if you like. Turns out they moved here from B’s area, it was too expensive there to live. So they were nice people to meet.

Well right as they were leaving my head started throbbing suddenly, like a migrane coming on! Oh no! I have a load of stuff in my driveway and I felt sick, and with a migrane I just have to lay down and be still but moving furniture and putting things away would aggravate it. So I went inside, and took 2 tylenols, and then just went and sat on the couch praying no people would come up to look. I had to be still, then I started to have stomach cramps, then felt nauseated. I was like “What the heck is going on???” Im just glad I didnt puke. Sitting still helped and gave time for the tylenol to kick in. Then someone pulled up and I went and got a chair and just sat down. After that went into the bathroom. Started my period (well geesh didnt it have a nice way of welcoming itself!!!) Because I didnt feel sick anymore, and I think the combo of, being tired, getting my period, and being in the sun made me feel sick.

My girlfriend K from San Diego called and she was in town so we talked for awhile on the phone while I sat outside watching the sale. It was nice to catch up. I guess she gave her hubby an ultimatum at the holidays and said she was going to get a divorce if he didnt get his act together and she said it really shook him up and things have changed. 🙂 I sure hope so.

So then B called in the afternoon. I was just about ready to start cleaning up the sale. So we talked a little. He wanted me to come out, I was so tired, needed a shower, had the house to myself, wanted to shop this weekend, etc etc. And I said “Would you want to come here?” He said “Ummm no?” then he said well he could but didnt really want too and complained about my bed. Hes been saying hes had a bad back the last few times hes stayed and that my bed isnt good for him, which yes I need a new one, but just makes me a little sad but I dont make a big stink because hes still come out. So I said I had some shopping to do and how about call me later after he does his errands and we can go from there.

So I took it easy, cleaned up the yard and put some stuff out with a FREE sign to get rid of.

I then went to Costco and got a membership and went shopping there. Didnt buy too much, just some new cups for my kitchen, a little food and some flowers for myself that are soo pretty and were just $10! Ohhh they are red, orange and yellow flowers.

Called B when I got in, then packed up a bag and headed to his place. We then went out to get some dinner, then came back and watched “How to Lose a Guy in 10 days” he got it off the net.

It was cute. 🙂

I was tired and we just went straight to bed and snuggled up. OH! But I didnt write, when I arrived he got up from playing video games, smiled, walked over and gave me a big hug and acted all happy like he used to do! I made a comment in an email friday about how hes been and asked if things were okay and said I missed that part of him. So I guess I really appreciate those things, when said and the person makes an effort to do something about it.

So we are eating dinner. And he starts telling me about his friday night with his buddy S. It made me feel sad and hurt. And I dont know if its cool that I do, but, Here I am home on a friday night. I have no kids, and B and I usually do the same routine of dinner, hang out, movie. We dont go and do much OUTING stuff. Or go hang out with others, or take trips unless I plan them.

So he goes on to tell me that he met his buddy and the guys sisters, then mentioned something of this being where his old girlfriend lived,( not sure why that was thrown in there) then how they hung out with his buddys sister and all her friends and how he met interesting people, and how they sat up playing Trivial Pursuit as a drinking game.

My God, can I just say how badly I want to go out and do stuff and have fun like that, and there were guys and girls and a married couple there he said. And Im just thinking in my head “Why the F was I not invited?????” I mean if it was just he and the buddy, but it wasnt that. So inside I was hurt but didnt say anything.

Then he worked on planning his Vegas trip concert. The one I cant go to. So I hear him planning it out, making hotel reservations, he couldnt get a free hotel thru the part time job this time the place was booked so he wants one on the strip so he can drink and not drive, and how much hes spending, and now talking renting a car, and I guess it just hurts, Or maybe its just that Im angry that I go to all the trouble for stuff he and I do together and here I see him doing something and it irks me. Anyways. I just try and be happy for him at the same time, and feel its my insecurities and issues speaking also. That Im just upset that I dont have fun things to do or people to take off with and that is not B’s fault but mine and that I Need to do something to change that.

Saturday we stayed in bed a long time, just snuggled up, and then took off for me to go do some house stuff browsing at a few stores.

Oh I forgot to add, at dinner we were discussing roller coasters and I said how I cant hang with them much anymore I get sick on them. So he said “Well remind me to never take you to Magic Mountain” I said “I can ride some of the rides, and Im willing to try, its just the last 2 times Ive gone I cant hang with some of the roller coasters” He said “Well I wouldnt take you, I wouldnt want to hear you bitch about it” I was pissed. So i said to him “Listen, you know, just because I cant ride every ride doesnt mean I wouldnt like to go there, you ever heard of doing things with friends or groups?” Cause he griped how he would not ride rides alone.

I was just irked and got quiet. Its like we havent even gone there and hes telling me this crap. And I wouldnt bitch at him? Hes the complainer when we go places and the critical one.

So when we left the restaraunt and got to the Jeep he said “Are you done pouting?” I said “NOOOOOOO” in a goofy voice, since I wasnt sure if he picked up that I was bothered. So once he got in I just told him thats its cool, if hed rather go a place like that without me, then great, but that he didnt need to say “I dont want to hear you bitch” that when he says things like that I shut off. He said he was sorry and asked why I didnt say it earlier, I said I didnt want to discuss it in the restaraunt.

So we dropped it, and things were ok.

So I did my errand browsing with B and really just wanted to go home and work on my house. We got back and the power in his room was out cause the guy was working on it. So B asked me if I wanted to watch him play video games. Bleh, no not really, I told him go ahead, I just wanted to lay down a few. So I then got up and went and sat next to him as he played some wrestling game. And the 7 yr old girl bugged the heck out of us.

B then said “Your bored huh?” And I just said “I think Im gonna head home, I have stuff I want to work on” So he said ok and I got my things together and headed out. On my way out Mr Comedy called me and I had said “Oh Im just leaving B’s he wanted to play video games and I didnt want to watch him play so Im heading home” Hes all “Your kidding right?” Im like NO? And hes all Oh man… and he started on this criticism and negative talk and I said “Listen Im not mad at B, if thats what he wants to do fine, I just wanted to go do something else, we spent the whole morning together anyways” Ive notice Mr Comedy and Mr Obnoxious both like to talk B down whenever we talk and it gets old after awhile. Like trying to get me to see them instead and say what a jerk B is.

So I went to Pier 1, got a cushion for my wicker chair ( found the chair there! It costs $100, and I found this at a used store for $25!) I browsed 2 furniture stores for a chair, and looked at mattresses briefly then headed home.

So I began painting my living room bottom half section of the wall! It looks good! So it will probably take 2 more days to finish that part, then I have to buy some paint for the trim. Curtains too!

So I just was up painting, then talked to my oldest sister, and just cleaned more junk from my house, threw away things. This feels really good, decluttering, making my house simpler. B called me last night, said he was glad I came out, was nice to see me and that he had missed me. 🙂

Honestly, I can say, in some areas I can really see him making an effort. So that does feel nice to feel listened too.

I know my issue is I need friendships outside of B, and to stop waiting around for him and to make plans for ME and not put him first in my head. And thats my own fault and Im working at changing it and have been.

B just wrote me an email

Victoria,

“Oh… Draggin into work today. Im all sore and beat up feeling….

So i went to the store this AM to get a bagel and some advil. Advil was on sale and I got a free bagel.. hahah ahah ahhahaa its my lucky morning..LOL

Its the little pleasures right?

=0)

So did ya sleep well? I passed right out and didnt stir till the alarm refused to shut up….

muah It was nice to see ya this weekend. I missed ya.

my boss gave me a recipie for this brocolli salad… OMG it was so good. i will have to make ya some.MMM MMM mmmmm.=0)

ok slice n dice is up.. time to work

loves ya muah byeeeeeeeee