Projecting Idiot

Dear Diary,

Well its almost midnight on Sun eve. Im doing good. I got over my moment, which I knew I would, its just the feelings that creep in at times, Im working thru them, but ugh its a pain being in my head at times.

Last night as I was chatting online a guy messaged me. It was H! I used to write about H in the old days right before the ex and I split up. I sort of had a crush on him, and thought he and I would start to date after the ex and I split. He and I had met in the past at a party. And we had communicated on the phone after the split. But then he basically was in recovery groups daily and warned me about his personality. Basically said I didnt want to get involved with him because he can become obsessive with women and hes aware of this. My bosses wife and I spoke about this and she told me he did a wonderful thing by being up front with me and saying that. So he and I never went down that road.

We havent talked much. I just didnt realize how long it had been. HE IS MARRIED NOW! Omgosh! I had no idea! And he has issues with Obsessive Compulsive, and hes ADD. And hes on meds and participates in groups and has ever since weve met. You know, its kinda cool, I mean that I actually know men who talk about their issues, who are openly admitting and aware and doing things, seeing Drs, therapy, support groups, medication. Music dude said “God I must sound like a girl with the way my mind works and how I worry” and its just funny cause I actually know a few guys online who talk like he does. I think its totally awesome that their are more and more men seeking help, recovery.

B came home at 10 last night and messaged me saying “I hate it when plans fall through!” I asked “What happened?” and his response?? “Ummm, I didnt get to do what I was going to do?”

UGH, I hate answers like that. It says nothing. You know? Well duh he didnt get to do what he wanted to do, he announced that to me first thing, and that doesnt answer my question “What happened?” So I just said “OK” back and didnt chat any further. Its like if he doesnt want to talk, then dont announce that to me. But he switched gears, asked how I was doing and seemed fine.

He went to the Ju Jitsu class yest AM, And he had to take his nipple piercings out, he had trouble getting one back in after class and some pain. So Im thinking the piercings may take the boot. I personally do like them. They are actually quite sexy on him if ya ask me. But its ok, 🙂 This AM he left to go swimming at the gym! Wow! Hes all jumping back into getting exercise. Which is great.

Today I cleaned a lot, the weather was nice today, I kept going out back, petting the dog and talking to him, hes so happy and bouncy its adorable. Id just look at my freshly mowed lawn. Ohhh I love the warm weather. I cant wait till its warmer again. I painted the other door in the office today and put another coat on the trim. So the door is done now. Just have to put the knob back on tommorrow. I watched “Trading Spaces” and some other home shows this past week and I just like soaking in things and making mental notes and ideas.

Have to check for my tax money, call the bank see if the deposit has arrived yet. Im so anxious and waiting for it.

I cant complete much else till I have the finances.

I also really need to have a yard sale. BADLY!

Soon soon I will.

I did get a new curtain rod though! A black iron one with these curved decorative pieces that fit on the ends. 🙂 YAY!

The kids, my mom and I are going to a Titanic exhibit tomorrow. So I have to leave in the AM to head to LA to the museum.

My parents just closed escrow on the last apartments they had. They said they were going to keep these, but they had a good buyer and some way to get out of them, I dont know all their business dealings but these they said were tied up in their retirement, but guess they got some way around that.

So that is it. No more. Its really strange. As my mom walking around the apartments is all Ive known for 30 yrs. I live in walking distance to these apartments. I know most of them inside and out, the floor plans, the furniture, the store rooms, everything. I went their as a kid and played in vacant apartments. I worked their as a teen helping her clean them. I mowed lawns their for awhile. And now I have some of the furniture from them in my home. And also my ex and I lived in one when we first were married. It was so cute.

So its weird, I drive by them each day, and the sign now has their phone # scratched out. No more. I see the tenants, who I hear the stories about outside. Its like I know the long time tenants quirks. A chapter is over for my parents. But my Mom wanted it, my Dad is a nut and his mind and all and blowing up at people, my mom cant take it anymore him tampering with things.

Kids will get to be with Grandma Tues-Fri. Which will be nice for all of them. It feels nicer now, I dont need her as much for childcare, and so I think its more enjoyable for her that its not as much. But she never complains either, my kids are very close to my mom and my mom loves them. So they will have some fun. Just hope its not all rainy! They have a lot of concrete and driveways and property to ride bikes on at their place. My kids like going there, Grandma has oodles of toys too.

Ex wrote me a dingaling email. Basically telling me IM prolonging legal matters, lets get this over with, and whats my deal?

:::Shakes head:::

As friends on my abuse website put it about my ex, Most of his emails he writes to me, its more like him talking to himself. Its really strange though, Its like Dummy your the one whos held this all up! Is he that stupid?

He will have the kids for a week come friday. So that will be different yet I look forward to WOW! A Whole week vacation for meeeeeee!

Things are coming together. I making it financially. Work is good, Counseling is good, kids are doing well, house is coming along, Im not freaking so much and Im in a place of mellowing with the ex/legal stuff. Feeling like things are finally happening and my ex is being held accountable for his idiotic actions and that this may actually come to an end soon.

Kids told me after they came back from seeing Dad “Mommy, Dad got a new palm pilot!” and its like I just say “Thats nice” a broke unemployed man can still afford his toys you know? :::Eye roll:::

Well Im gonna scoot for now, Niters!