What Happened??????

Dear Diary,


Im crying again. I did well after work, but I was just waiting for Mr Comedy to leave, I just wanted to cry, cry, let out how i feel.


He came out, to hang with me. It was cool and all, I got my mind of things a little, we went out to eat. But what happened? Tori Amos came on STEREO! B loves her, B made me a CD of her after our last break up and drove out for the first time ever and placed it at my door as a gift.

I go to eat and all I can think of is B. How we ate at this place, then I thought about our fave restaraunt and is it all dead over gone???


We were going to go get coffee, then I couldnt, I just couldnt go get coffee,,, B got me into coffee, He tought me about it, about diff grains, and drinks since he did it for a living.


I didnt want a fucking coffeeee, I just want B back the way it was when he was my Love.


Im crying and talking out loud as I type this, My babies are gone with my Ex, My BF is where? What happened?


I sent him an email today with his old letters and just asked “What happened to him” He wrote back ” It will take some time to explain that and right now I dont have the time” and that was all the email said.


I got home, he was online but signed off immediatly. I had to remove his screen names from my list. Cause I cant stand to look at it.


I dont want him to be GONE.


I dont want to find Love all over again.


I dont want to hurt like this again.


I dont know where to go, B was my saving grace after the Ex,


I could drive out to Bs right now if I wanted, I dont have the kids, I just want to crawl in bed beside him, and hold him.


But Im telling myself NO NO NO NONOOOOOOO


What happened???

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