Dingaling

Dear Diary,

One of the emails from my Ex

Vicky,

I am sorry that I have not been able to send you any support. I have been sending out resumes and going to interviews but nothing has happen as of yet. I have been unemployed since August.

I believe you have ached my wages so as soon I get a job you will know.

Vicky,We were on the calender for Dec 19th, I’m not sure what for other that we where there. When Mr **** did show, he said that he would take it off calender.

What about the other question i asked you…… I so want to stop this ugly crap….. I can, can you? Vicky, lets get divorices and be friends not buddy, buddy. Holloween was a good start wasit not?…..

Well? not even freinds, but parents that get along only cause of the kids………..

One question I have for you is what are we going to do about the house?

Vicky I want to get this over but I’m not going to just turn over everything to you. I gave you an offer that I believe and everybody else says is more than fair. State of California says that it’s 50/50.. that is what I’m entitled to… I will be willing to settle for less at this point, but not the slap in the face that your lawyer gave me.

If things go the way I think they may go at the first of the year I might be able to give you all court order back support, I can’t promise you that, but it may just happen.

Just wonder if you knew that you had a court date yesterday, and that no one from you Lawyer office was there? Vicky, your lawyers getting rich and so will mine. I’m so tapped right now, it’s very thing I can do to keep from filing bankruptcy (I know you do care). Can we (me and you) try and come to some kind of and offer? anything?

There was another one, but I wrote him back. I put a stop to the emails. THey were fine when we discussed financial matters and the breakdown for the settlement. But then he veered off once again. So here is what I wrote him back.

Ex,

This is where Im going to put a stop to this discussion.

If you want to make threats, then Im done with talking to you. Im done talking about a settlement. Dont even talk to me as if you have put me in a good place or done me any favors. I am making it today because of Gods help, my own hard work, counselors, wonderful employers, strong mother, and my own responsibility and strength. Its not from your doing.

If anyone has to worry about trashing credit. I think you know Im the last person to look at. I kept our credit clean until you left. We were in excellent shape. So dont point at me, look in the mirror and give yourself these lectures about growing up and acting like an adult. You say things to me you really need to be telling yourself.

When shelters and others are bringing groceries over to your house for you and your kids. When your employers want to make sure your childrens medical needs are taken care of and cover it regardless of your ex making sure his own kids are taken care of. When you have to borrow money or are crying to get your childs dental work done. Where have you been in any of this?

I saw your stuff when I flew back to Ohio. I saw how you were living. So cut the crap with me. YOu were living the good life buying whatever you wanted while I was raising two kids on 3 times less then you made and carrying all the bills that were left.

Wether or not we are together, I have not had your support. When you treat the mother of your children badly, this is the woman who is tending to your children.

Vicky

His response?

Vicky, it wasnt a treath at all…. i didnt mean it like that… i made mistakes i cant take back. but what i can do is try and make it better for you…. what words can do actions can…. i want to show you as the father of your kids that i can change… can we still talk on sunday night online?

Ex

Im not responding any further. I gave him the community debt amounts. All that is left is if he does agree, we have it formally written up. He wants to start mudslinging again via email? Then I stop talking and tell him call my attorney.

He said we had a court date, I called my attny office to double check what he is talking about. Not really sure why the hell my ex went to court or if he is full of hot air.

But anyways, I am talking to a woman from a site I met who has dealt with a situation almost similar and she is a little further ahead of me in the legal process but is able to provide me so much feedback, we also live in the same state which helps since laws very state to state. She keeps reminding me of this…

“Finally, there is one thing that bothered me during my divorce. Its hard enough leaving an abuser, dealing with my feelings around it, I wish I had cut off all my emotional reactions and realized I was dealing with the dissolution of a business, not a marriage. That was gone long before all these details.”

She keeps telling me to look at what I am dealing with as a business, financial matters. Which is a nice reminder to myself. Focus on this like settling a business split or something.

Anyways, this woman has been great and she is the first person Ive met from my site who can give me feedback to each scenario in court. Ones I have ahead. And the whole settling of the house.

B worked last nite, I havent talked to him on the phone in 2 days. We email while hes at work, But he called me thurs nite near 1am and I was too out of it to talk. Last night no call. Not sure if he had to work today overtime. Or else hes sleeping in.

My sister asked me if B was coming on Christmas Eve with me. I said I didnt know. Which I dont. I work Christmas eve, but only from 8:30-Noon. So that is cool, then I can go home, get the kids together and the presents and head to my sisters.

I do feel bad for my Mom to some degree. Its just I view her different then my siblings. And my counselor kept telling me that I cannot base my view of my mom of their reality. Counselor said “Maybe your Mom learned a lot with your siblings and has done things differently with you” Which I agree she has. I was raised different from them. Its just hard for me in some ways to keep listen to, especially my oldest sisters bitter anger for my Mom. She is avoiding her phone calls, yet mad she doesnt call. My Mom tried calling the other day and spoke to her husband. My sis told me she was pissed off she called. And she was grilling her hubby about my nephew in jail. So she said “How did she know??” Its like this stuff I hate, I must have said it to my Mom. And my sis is like “Did you tell her?” Im not running around keeping secrets from everyone. Everyone knows hes in jail. But my sister is mad at their lack of involvement in her life and her son and new step kids.

Bleh. Im cool with hanging with my siblings christmas eve, I personally think it will be nice.

I dont really want to see or be around my Dad. But I dont mind my Mom coming over on Christmas Day.

Oh I was driving home yesterday and on talk radio they were discussing the murder of Dr Laura’s Mother in her apartment in Beverly Hills. Its a really strange story so waiting for more to come out. But apparently she had not been seen since Sept! And had been in the apt dead all that time! And nobody checked on her for those months! They havent released much information so its quite puzzling, but said, she was in her 70’s.

Well thats it for now