Feeling Better today

Dear Diary,

Thanks everyone for your support. 🙂

Im better today. Im exhausted but better.

Boss is letting us off at Noon! But pay for full day!

So Im going to get some errands out of the way, clean the house up, do a little christmas shopping for the kids, take video rental back,post office, recycle cans, maybe the gym.

B didnt get my email yesterday. So I read it to him. EEEKS I was nervous, I cried reading it. But I knew hed see it anyways so?

I have to give credit for one thing. I always am so fearful of speaking my mind. That he will blow up at me and say hes tired of this or deny things I say. The old ways of my Ex. The letter was harsh, but B listened. He didnt get mad at me.

Hes coming over after work tonight. We will have the house to OURSELVES! And neither of us have to wake up for work! Or hear kids running around! We can SLEEP IN!

Looks like we are going to my families place after all. And then come back to my house that night and he will stay the night and go to work Friday from my house. Ill have friday to myself, I can get more errands done, relax, do whatever. We are supposed to figure up where we will stay in San Diego and talk about that tonight and figure out our budget for the trip this weekend. So unless something happens(which always can) and we arent getting along, plans may change. But so far its the plan. I didnt hold back on him, I told him talk is cheap, show me action. I stopped him when he gave excuses. I told him it shouldnt take your girlfriend ready to leave you to get you in gear. Im straightforward now.

I hung out with my Dad for about an hour last night. He told me “Your getting tougher now, I can see it, heck and your supporting yourself and paying for that house alone” 🙂 I said “Dad I have to get tougher, I am carrying the load, somebody has too. I can even say the F word now” He laughed.

He took me over to the computer and showed me some photos. With the internet and all, my parents bought their first computer about 3yrs ago and both got into genealogy and family history research. So my Dad is in contact with an old school buddy of his. Well the guy had pictures of my Dad when he was about 9. Mind you my Dad doesnt have much as far as childhood and past photos at all. So he got 3 photos from this guy. My Dad said “I just gained a piece of my past back!” It wasnt about the other children in the photos, it was the animals. His 2 dogs were in a photo, and another he remembered a horse. He was sharing the stories about these animals, how they were his buddies as a child. His friend said “Do you remember the woman in the photo next to you?” My Dad said “NO? But I do remember the HORSE!” haha and he laughed and said “Oh thats such an insult to the lady, but I was a little boy, the horse mattered to a child”

My Dad told me a bit more about his life. He was farther ahead in school. About 2 yrs grade wise. So he was younger and smaller but in school and graduated at age 16. His mother was a school teacher. His Dad died when he was 9. No siblings. My Dad said “I know what my mom was trying to do, she wanted to get me through school and out and working and taking care of myself, but its rough on a boy, when you are young and not mature and your among people older then you” He told me he went to get a job as a bagger at a grocery store at 16 and the guy said he couldnt hire him, he was too young. They told him he had graduated high school and needed to work. So I guess his aunt walked in there and said “Well he needs to eat!” So I guess my Dad worked there for 2 yrs, told me how he made 37 cents a week. Then this guy(the one hes emailing who sent him the photos) took my Dad and showed him his place. My Dad said his buddy rented a tiny type space, almost like a closet and paid $1 a month and there was a bathroom in the hall. My Dad then found himself a place he a room. He said there was a army cot and a carboard wardrobe. Bathroom down the hall. But he said “For the first time in my life I lived somewhere with Forced HEAT” he said he was in heaven and they hot and cold running water. So he thought it was great. I guess later on my mother moved in and rented a room and they then roomed together. Im not sure on the full story of my parents. I believe they were married but didnt live together right away. My Dad went into the military for 2 yrs and he said My Mom didnt follow. So I guess they were married tho.

Its just interesting hearing about your parents, mine dont talk much about this type of stuff so its all new to me!

Well I have more I could say, maybe a private entry for the rest and I will send to those of you Im close to,

But Im better 🙂