Church Nite

Dear Diary,

Went to church. Came home to about 8 messages, my machine was full, and my voicemail had 2. All from Ex.

I knew this was going to happen. I predicted it even, just happend a day later then I anticapated. The way the holidays fell and the kids schooling and the paperwork for visitations. It said my ex gets them Sat prior to Thanksgiving in even years to the sun at 6pm following Thanksgiving.

When my attny was writing this I said “Well what happens if there is school? What happens if they change tracks? I dont want to get stuck in confusing sticky situations with him” So my attny added “Visitations shall not conflict with childrens school” to the paperwork that was signed that day, my kids start back on school track Tomorrow.

So ex can get them Wed eve.

But I know him. Hes going nuts right now. For him to call the house as many times as he did tonight. 2 of the messages were for me. The rest were repetitive ones for the kids. And we were gone from 6:15-8:30. So that tells you how little a time frame it was for all of his messages.

I am not calling him to talk. I sent him an email that just states the kids have school M-Wed and what time he can get them Wed. And that was it.

Church was nice, the guy I always saw there who would talk to me came over again to see how I was. He prayed with me last time I was there about the ex situation. He is a bit nerdy but nice. He was talking about how work was going, that hes learning about the stock market, and is selling some apartments he owns. Hes a nice guy, Ive known him since way back from my old church college group when he used to attend.

I took the kids out after worship to go to the kids area. I walked into the foyer and there was L. L is also someone who was a part of the old abusive church. I have written about her several times. I ran into her at the movies with her hubby about a month or so ago, and actually seem to run into her often in public places. Sweet christian woman. She did the Home Builders marriage bible study with her hubby that my ex and I attended long ago.

So she calls my name, and Im like HEY! and I go over to hug her. I said “Oh I gotta go I have to find who is watching the kids tonight” She replies “I AM” I was like OH?? She is a fill in when they dont have anyone. I hugged her and asked her how she was doing, she had surgery not long ago but she said she was doing better, she told me I need to come over and our kids can play. I would like that.

Also they had a time during worship to let people come up and say what they are thankful for. A woman got up. She shared that she had to leave her husband and she has 4 children. She said he needed help. Didnt go into details of what, but that she got a job where she can afford to raise the 4 kids herself and how grateful she was. Well her husband died! 🙁 She didnt say how or of what. Just that he was found in his bed, and that he had a book next to him “A Case for Faith” or something. She was hoping their marriage would be healed and theyd be back together. Instead he died. And now she was dealing with the house and she couldnt afford it and it going into foreclosure. But how she was grateful that she can provide for her kids, and God has a plan. Wow, that was heavy. 🙁 It jerked at the emotions in me.

Then a young guy gets up. M, I know him. He is another old church member from the old abusive church. His family and us spent some time together. Really nice couple. Their daughter watched our kids a few times, my ex taught them in youth group, and they had us over for dinner. The wife was my sisters best friend in high school (small world eh?) And just long time church friends. They have gone back and forth from the old abusive church several times. But I last heard they returned.

I cant even explain it. Its strange for me. Because I dont know if its more the men or what? But Ive run into so many people at this church Ive gone to from now there, who have attempted leaving and finding a new church home, and then to hear some return back after a time. My old church was very tight knit. I hate to say but so close in a bubble, almost cult like. Not saying the people were bad people, we had some wonderful times. But my ex is a perfect example. He cannot be comfortable in other churches. He griped about any other church we went to, the pastors preaching was boring, he didnt like the worship, blah blah blah. He really had a difficult time going elsewhere. Me on the other hand feel that God works many places, not just THAT CHURCH. But its part of the whole abusive nature of my Ex, its the home we were in that encouraged his behavior, and part of why I cant stand the place anymore, because the mindset still lingers. I dont like it.

So back to the young guy getting up. He must be about 20 or so now. He gets up and said “I had to move out of my house, I thank God for giving me a christian friends who reach out and gave me a place to stay, its nice to live with a bunch of christian guys, and be able to be held accountable” and he just was so thankful for them reaching out to help him. 🙁 Not sure why he couldnt live at home anymore, but his parents returned back to the old church, but hes still here at this one.

The service was good. Ill write some more later of a story they shared, but for now this is all I feel like saying.