Woke Up too Early

Dear Diary,


Ugh I was up before 7am! On a sat with no kids! Grrr, but once I woke my mind shifts into high gear about ex stuff. And then I cant go back to sleep. So here I am.


Well my ex called me thurs nite. Left a message saying “Im at Walmart buying the kids socks, what size do they wear? Oh I guess Ill just buy a 4, Bye”


Then last night he has the kids now. He calls me on my voice and reg phone saying “The youngest has a fever, was he sick already? Were you giving him something? Call me”


Ok Im the MOm who sends bottles of antiobiotics with a note, Im the one who writes letters how to help our kiddo with not wetting the bed at night and to wake him up to go to the bathroom. etc etc.


I called him up and said “No he was fine today, he must be coming down with something, it happens” Hes all overly concerned. Wanting me to give him their medical ins cards. I said “I only have one copy, if something is wrong call me and Ill meet you there if thats the case” But you dont have to go to the dr just because he has a fever, dont overreact. Hes all “Uhh noo,, Im not, A (the church chickies hes seeing) is taking care of him, shes giving him Tylenol. HES IN GOOD HANDS”


Ok sorry if I sound all petty right now. But why on earth call me then???? I just felt as if he wants to appear as concerned good Daddy in front of this chick. Its liek I want to scream out..


HEY! DID You know! That he is behind since March on paying the childrens medical insurance! My bosses are paying it FOR HIM!

Guess what else! He removed us all from the dental policy early this year while our youngest need major dental work done, And he didnt even notify me, I got a call from the dentist saying we were rejected. So I called the ins plan and it showed only EX ON IT! And then I emailed him for months and wrote to his employer for the dental. Ex claimed they were “Switching” plans. Well as of Sept I was never given this new plan group number! Ex wrote me emails saying KIDS ARE ON IT YOU KNOW THIS VICTORIA! I said “Umm you have provided me with that info” His employer never responded to me either.


He says “it will be worked out by Mon Ill email it to you then” And guess whos “fired/quit?” and avoided wage assignment come MONDAY!


So my mother paid for all our youngest dental work.


Hes got them for 2 days and I live right by the hospital. I will have to call and see if I can get second copies of their health insurance cards. But no way Im leaving him mine. Hes never been around or concerned for their health!


Sorry Im griping right now. I also just dont like being told some woman is taking care of my sick little one. But what can ya do?


So Im not gonna leave town at all in case I get a call, or my little one wants to come home.


He wasnt around for them when they have been sick, I always have been so my mom says he doesnt know what to do. So Im like “Well then if he has this chick there and says its taken care of, why call me?”


Anyways, I went to bed around 11pm. I knew B was working. I did try calling around 11pm but no answer. Well he called me around 12:30am. I was so sleepy but I do remember part of the call. He said he was so tired, and he had mandatory overtime this AM. SO he had to be up around 5:30am to get out for work, then hes working his partime job again tonight. So I wont see him.


I do recall him saying “Im a crappy boyfriend huh?” last night though. I just responded with a indecisive sound. I did catch it but was so sleepy” He then replied “You dont have to answer that” He talked a little about work and his car, thats all I really remember. Then we said goodbye.


You know, I tell myself, Ok hes working be understanding. But the mans schedule is nutty. And this part time job he claims they dont tell him till that day or the day before if hes working and where. Well he allows them to keep him on a tight leash like that! This guy can never get away on a weekend or plan one, thats why Vegas was such an ordeal to try and plan. Im like HELLO TELL THEM YOUR GONNA BE GONE??? I mean heck its a friends business he works for, they have other employees. They just call up who can work. But he feels he OWES Them to always be there. Im sorry, but its been almost 2 yrs of this shit with him. When I was married, my ex would get his priorities out of whack, staying at work later, not getting home with time for his family. On Christmas eve one year he didnt get home on time for the christmas service. And he wasnt on a time clock, he could leave when he needed to but he didnt. He also did this on Halloween one year. Me and the kids sat waiting, and I finally left without him.


Im not dealing with that crap anymore. A person has to get their priorities straight. Make time for that which is important. When you value you someone yo show that by the way you treat them. And being chronically late or not making time when you are able for your loved one. Is lame!


Ive told B Im last on his list. He says thats not true. But I tell him that.


So I found this on a website I visit. A Healthy Relationship information…


It says….


What is a Healthy Relationship?? So many of us ask ourselves that question… So Often we are told that what we want and need is “too much.” Below is an excerpt from “PERFECT DAUGHTERS” by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.

* You feel you are respected as a person.

* Your physical and emotional needs are met.

* You like the other person and you feel liked by them.

* You are appreciated and not taken for granted.

* You are not afraid to be yourself.

* You can communicate effectively with your partner.

* You can affirm and support one another.

* Trust, trust, trust is everywhere.

* There is a sense of humor and play.

* Responsibilities are shared.

* Your privacy is respected.

* You are not constantly fighting for control.

* You or your partner admit and seek help for your problems.

* You want to spend time together.

* Love is a verb, not a noun.

* You are growing and the relationship is growing.

* You feel good about yourself.

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