Letter in my Bed

Dear Diary,

Just got home to find a letter from B in my bed with the Teddy Bear he gave me that I sleep with. It says…

Dear Victoria,

It was really great to come out and see you. Snuggle up and drift to sleep watching tv. It is always good to have you in my arms.

I know that things are going to be rough for awhile. There is a lot of change going on right now. You are very special and mean a lot to me. It may not seem like it to you, but you are, I promise. With my new job and the part time job busy season is is hard for me to know when I will have a ton of time. I guess Im just asking you to hold out till things settled in a littlle more so I can see whats its like being there, instead of just looking forward into hopeless chaos. It is kind of rough knowing you arent with me on this. I understand this is hard for you, but I really would like to reach a peaceable middle ground if possible. I need to be here, there is something here for me, a future, some stability, potential, who knows. I need to pull myself of my hole and this is my ticket. I really need your support on this. I love you babe.

B

Im just kinda letting it sink in. I guess when I read it through the first time I found it as making me feel guilty once again for expressing my needs.

This isnt about his JOB!

I told him this over and over on friday night. I said “Elimanate your job, go back before you even got it, the issue was there then”

I think his job is WONDERFUL! Im happy for him and I am by no means wanting him to choose between the job or me. His new job is great!

So reaching a middle ground? I guess I need to figure out what would be a middle ground for me? And state it clearly? I dunno. Ill write more later on this….

By the way Music dude just messaged me again as Im writing this…. Im always feeling hes pissed at me then he talks to me later like all is cool, ahhh men are just as confusing as women. lol