In My Bed

Dear Diary,


Well I left B snuggled under the covers. He was only gonna hang out about another hour after I left then head out, he has numerous things to do before leaving at 3pm for work. So today will be his first day. Working 5-1am. But he has to commute, so for starters hes leaving at 3pm to see what traffic looks like at that time.


He shaved his mustache and all his facial hair off this week. I love his mustache, I just think it looks really good on him. So he gets to my house, gets in the door, We stand there just hugging. I can fill the tears well up in my eyes as I hug him. He gets all giddy and bounces around a little bit while holding me. (note: He used to do this often when he came to see me, when we spoke friday night I talked about how he used to be all happy and giddy to see me and how he was) So he did it last night. 🙂


We snuggled and watched TV. He told me “turn over, I wanna spoon you, I want you to get all kinds of snuggles” It was nice. He also didnt display wanting sex, which I found unusual, considering how often we arent together now, and to be honest. I wanted to sleep with him. But also I know he probably didnt want me to feel its all he wants from me. So we actually just snuggled up and fell asleep. I woke up at one point in the night. He was jerking a bit and making noise, sort of like something was scaring him in a dream. I just snuggled up next to him and asked if he was ok. He was asleep and out of it but calmed down.

He was all attentive, asking me how my day was, how I was doing. How was my weekend.


This AM I woke up around 6am and it was DARK, and it seemed like the middle of the night, but I groaned knowing Id have to get up in an hour. I just nuzzled up with B. He snuggled me back. Well there was no way I was letting that man leave my house, God knows when I will see him next or what will happen, but I wanted to make love to him. 🙂 So I didnt let him escape, and to be quite honest I dont think minded at all. heehee


So we are laying there, and the local highschool marching band is playing in the background, early practice!


B says “Well I need to make time to come see you more huh? Now Ive got this job, plus the part time weekend job that will be busy through the holidays, plus I want to finish my Jeep, and Im going to work for the mechanic part time to pay off the Jeep work, but I need to make time for you, your more important than my Jeep. I really want to get it done though, you have no idea how bad I want to drive it, but with you beside me” He discussed wondering how its going to go with him working these hours, Since hes going to be getting in late and need to sleep in. He said the morning ritual is the little girl and her father yelling back and forth to get her ready for school. Plus the baby, and then in Nov the other baby will be born.


To be honest, I have no idea HOW that family finds people to RENT from them! Granted the house is nice, nice area. The people are nice, but, umm highly dysfunctional? When we were there on friday night the little girl said to my kids about her uncle, Whom I know quite well but he lives there also, She says “Oh this is his room, this is his pet snake, but hes not here, hes with his girlfriend, well he has lots of girlfriends. Like 50 thousand” haha! I mean that is an exaggeration in the numbers, but realistically she is right, the guy sleeps around like crazy.


Plus everyone there is overweight. B just noted how he has been gaining weight and cant fit into his pants well and needs to be back in the gym. He still looks good to me, but I can tell he has slacked off. The gym is good for him physically and mentally. I really think it was a great soure for stress relief. And well he hasnt been in months that Im aware of.


He also greets me these days in a smelly shirt, he used to arrive or see me all clean and smelling nice. So one does notice these things.


When I got to the house friday and was on the couch with him I smelled a yucky smell. To be honest it reminded me of dirty poopy baby diaper smell. But it was just B and I sitting there, so Im thinking “Well maybe he changed a diaper earlier?” Well he got up twice, I then thought it was one of my kids passing gas or something. Then it dawned on me! THE DOG! When I have been over before Ive noticed the German shepherd sleeping right here! Ewwww, so I got up and moved, the couch just smelled gross.


So I think its gonna get old really fast with B living there. But who knows? But he does know he will need to sleep. I said he could drive over here, but that would prolong his commute another HOUR to get to my place. He said “Maybe once in awhile, the commute would be hell,,,,, but wait, it might be worth it cause I can sleep in really long” My house is quiet all day. We leave at 8am.


So there ya have it, this stuff is confusing for me. He shows up all sweet and concerned, yet the night on the phone said stuff that was more like “Sorry, tough, this is the way it is, and the way that I am, accept it or not” Then he shows up and is all sweet and attentive.


Oh well, still just take each day as it comes.

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