Doggie Aging

Dear Diary,

I just want to cry. I just want B to come over, crawl into bed with me and hold me. I just want to be held.

I am feeling depressed today. I just spent over an hour on the phone with my sister and we talked about her therapy more, our parents. And our way of living life and our problems. My sister is so great. I do love her. She is there and we just listen and share and are both so understanding and accepting.

I did talk about our Dog. Hes a boxer. My sister gave him to me and my ex about 5 yrs ago. Hes a wonderful dog who has been the perfect addition to my family. My sister is a Boxer lover and so she has had 4 of them. They dont have long life expectancies. Typically 7 yrs. And we didnt get this one as a puppy, he went through several homes. So he is about at the age. And they often have problems with tumors.

So when she comes to visit she can see he is aging. He is getting gray hair around his face. Hes a brindol so he has the brown and black coloring.

Well he has been getting a few small lumps. My sister went through taking her first into the vet all the time when this started happening. She said they spent so much on vet bills and didnt have children back then, so he was their child. And she said his death was drawn out and he wasnt a happy dog it seemed, more prolonged on medications. He lost his spunk.

She said her last 2 she let die naturally and they seemed happier up to the end. Unless he seems to be suffering and in pain does she recommend the vet. Plus I dont have money to pay for a vet anyways.

But my dog has a growth on his chest, the past week its been raw and exposed and hes always licking at it. Its about the size of a childs bouncy ball they get from those 25 cent machines.

I told her he is also coughing. She said “oh” That was the very first thing she took her dog in for, the COUGH. Mine has been coughing it seems this past year, its sounds sort of like a gag cough likes hes gonna throw up or ate something spicey.

But I commented on how lively and happy he is, even silly playful. But he has become a little more whimpery “Needy” of attention. ANd she asked about his eating. I said he eats fine, he almost appears to be a little larger and like hes eating more but hes not. She said he may be starting to retain fluid, which happened with hers also.

Its sad. Hes a great dog, and hes acting fine, but he is exhibiting signs. So I have no idea if he is going downhill. She said hers got really spunky like a puppy almost for a month, then started to withdrawl.

He has been our protector, our man of the place with my ex gone. I cant imagine us not having him and getting a new dog. Will we find another one that is just as wonderful as he has been?