Response

Dear Diary,

Jami, no your comment isnt mean. Its just honest curiosity about the situation. So here is the answer…

So many times I read what you have to say about B and I always end up wondering this: what does a healthy, 20 something, male, with no house payment (home insurance, taxes etc) that has no children to clothe and feed and pay medical bills, do with his money that he can’t be better off than he is?

I know he only works part-time (which is a problem in my mind in and of itself),,,but even part time it looks like with as little as responsibility he has he would have more money than he does.

B lives in an area where it is more costly to live. So the price he pays to rent a room is exactly the same as what I pay for a mortgage payment. He was renting an apartment for double my mortgage payment when we first met with a roomate.

B works a job that is for a friends company so its not set hours, its typically weekend eves and depends on who is placed on the schedule. Its a cash pay job.

So if its the only job he is working that month then he barely makes enough for rent.

He has held other jobs but he seems to go thru a temp agency. So these jobs dont last. He is capable of making more then myself and has a lot of experience. But I think he has some problem in social skills with people, he gets very superior? Like hes better then others and ends up skipping out, not showing up, forgetting he was scheduled and saying he doesnt really care and some way justifying he will be leaving a job. or he is simply laid off since its a temp position to begin with.

He was going to school for computers. So he took another part time job that was flexible for his school schedule. He needed the computer classes to get a job. Well he wasnt making enough to live and go to school so the next semester he dropped school and hasnt gone back yet.

Basically I see B has a problem with commitment perhaps? Ive had talks with him about this. I say “Hell Im a single mom of 2 with a house! And Im making it! Whats your excuse?” So its really hard for me to fathom his mindset. I see him wide open for opportunity. This is where his issues come in, whatever is his roadblocks internally from preventing him to go forward. B’s Mom is severly overweight and stopped working when he was a child. She spends her life holed up in her room in front of the tv eating. So gives you an idea of what he had modeled for him. She went into a depression, and never came out. And is still stuck there.

Well I just sent a letter to my ex, I did play on guilt in it, B just called me while I was writing it and I asked him if he thought I should send it. He said I was straightforward and not harping much or name calling. Not sure that it will do anything, but if I can get thru to him in the slightest, great.

Heres what I sent..

Ex,

The dentist office informed me that our youngest has whats called called “Enamel Dysplasia” it is genetic and he was born with it. His enamel on his teeth is very weak. He needs to keep his regular check ups, appointments and maintenance up. Everything was prolonged for over a year on his teeth because you kept telling me he had dental, and I waited all that time for nothing.

Thanks for your lack of help for the past year with the childrens dental insurance and assistance to help pay for his dental work. You are only hurting him by doing this. Youngestwill be bringing his antibiotics this weekend so please make sure he takes it, and make sure he keeps his teeth brushed.

Both the kids are overdue for their next dental exam and xrays.

You asked for a receipt, if you want it I can email you another copy but not sure what good it will do since Ive sent you one already in the past and not been reimbursed. And Im not even getting any child support. Dont waste my time anymore with empty promises that you are sending me money. I dont believe anything you say these days, you lie to me and then change your stories. Proof is in actions, talk is cheap.”

Im pissed ya know? The guy put us off ever since April saying the kids would have dental and strung it along until Labor Day, then is no longer at the job so the benefits mean shit now. And he was on the policy and the kids werent all that time.

Music dude is online, hes trying to cheer me up, Im a bit sensitive today. His life is going well. Its nice to see, he was down for awhile with the loss of the girl he was dating, Now hes doing good, said he and his ex get along great as parents and not partners. His job is going well, he is emotionally feeling good and is finally over the loss of the girl he was with. He was telling me that he was at the store last night with his little girl and she pointed at a costume and said “Daddy thats Phat!” I was laughing and it was so cute, cause thats Music dudes word he always uses. He said I could call him this weekend if I get bored, I said maybe we can do lunch while Im down for the Hollywood event. So we shall see, Kinda still feeling out my weekend. B is working one night but not sure which yet.

Later