What am I gonna do?

Dear Diary,

Morning. I get to go play Chauffer today for boss wifey. 🙂 I love spending time with her so that will be a nice change in pace.

I still dont know what Im doing this weekend. B wants me to come stay the night. He is working friday and sat night. So he wont be home from around 3pm to midnight or later both nights. So I dont really want to sit around at his place and wait. I told him this last night and that I still wasnt sure what I was doing and how i was trying to find someone to go out with, go dancing, something fun. He started to say how he was so over that sort of thing and how it didnt appeal to him. Which I was a bit bugged he was so negative to me about because hes been supportive of me ( so he says ) doing things I want to do, anyways, come the end of his little gripe about it he said he understood though that we are on different ends of the spectrum with this. That Im like “Foaming at the bit” as he put it to go out. And hes like “Ah yeah, whatever”

My birthday is coming up and he hasnt asked me anything. Like do I want to go out? Its just that Im a planner, I have to plan things, and well nothing has been said as of yet. I have a hair appointment Tuesday next week as a gift to myself for my birthday. So other then that I have no bday plans other then spending it with my kids. Not sure what we will do, go buy a cake? Go out to eat have something there? We shall see.

Talked to Music dude yesterday and we got talking about his work, and how last year I wanted to go to Bartender school and had an appt all ready and the money but my ex threw a total fit over it. Music dude just throws out so many things to me. He is all “Id put you to work” they have 3 bartenders in the place and he said hes ready to fire a few but they always need more, they have a list. And he said he often has parties and just needs extra waitresses. Last minute type things and wasnt sure if it was worth it for me $$$ wise. Its more I just would love new experiences. Im a bit nervous to offer up myself for something Ive never done, but part of me says “Take advantage!” So Ill talk to him more, he also said I should come over and sing, heehee in the studio, I think I suck but he just wants to hear me. He puts stuff together, techno and all that type of stuff so its not like songs full of lyrics. So we might go to the Art museum this weekend since he is free all of Sat. So I have to get back to him. Ive never been to one really. And Ive wanted too. So he said we should do that.

We talked about church, christianity and all that yesterday. He said his parents are Born Againers and so we kinda went along that thread again. He said he got “Saved” at age 9 I believe it was, then he said he was “Born Out” by 16. I laughed. He said he was in a service and the minister was telling him his parents would go to hell since they werent saved and he started to cry in the service so badly and was so upset and worried that they had to remove him. He said that really messed with his head.

He said his Father was kicked out of the Catholic Church long ago when he divorced his Mom. So now he is a church going christian he said with his new wife. Music dude said its cool, he doesnt mind, but we had a big talk about hell fire and brimstone. I was fortunate enough to not be motivated by fear of hell for my decision. But I have friends who have. So it just made for a really interesting convo between us. We are both open minded and compassionate. Yet we believe in God but just have a problem with the way a lot of churches and people have made christianity.

So I found out about his therapist. Hes been seeing him for almost 10 yrs! Hes like a buddy he said and he helps keep him grounded. He sees him about every 2 weeks, and now and then stops for a few mos. Sounds like my boss, she has a situation like that also. She said her therapist is sort of like her surrogate Mom. Some people find it weird a person could see someone for so long, I think its kinda cool. Its the place you have to go and throw out thoughts and ideas and a person who knows you and can be honest with you.

He also told me he worked in Chemical Dependency for a long time. Counseling and all that. So makes sense why he doesnt drink. Hes all “Yeah and I own a club. Who would have ever thought?”

I met with my attny yesterday. Well I tell you this whole process is just confusing. He tells me that YES I can get back all that support and how we will do so. Im all “Well your paralegal said otherwise” and hes all “Well thats not totally true” And told me how he would go about getting it. But he said “Vicky why are you here today? What is going on?” And I said “Well we were waiting on a 4 way that you requested between my ex and his attny to settle this house issue outside of court.” He went and ready thru everything and was all “Hmmm you are right? And why isnt this done?” and I said “Well ive heard nothing have they responded?” So he sat for a bit and realized he has heard ZIP back. They even gave a 15 day deadline to respond which has passed. So he looked at me and said “So we set the trial date and use it as leverage” Whatever he exactly meant? He said we hold out until the end, then they crumble. Which with the custody thing it was the exact thing that happened. My ex said all this stuff but when the court date arrived, He did NOTHING and okayed everything I wanted. So they are just stalling? Or my mother thinks Ex is out of money and cant afford his attny now? Who knows. To be honest Im getting to the point where I dont really care. I dont want to think about and worry about the house matter anymore. I just want it over, done and to be divorced from him. So I have to call today or tomm and check on when that court date will be.

But he said I do need to find out where he is working. Sigh, oh joy, gotta get creative and get that information somehow so we can try another wage assignment.

I told the kids today they will see their Dad, they were shocked. Already? I dont tell them way in advance since he can be flakey at times, and normally he calls and tells them himself, but he isnt calling them. Still just one phone call since moving back to Cali. Interesting?

But they were excited to hear. So I hope they have a good time.

Well thats it for now.