Getting a Explanation Helps
Dear Diary,
Well I didnt talk to B at all yesterday until almost 9pm. Didnt see him online or anything. Later he signed on. He was kinda weird and spazzy and I asked him if he had been drinking. He said “Well no, I had 3 Mountain Dews and Im wired” which the man sticks to diet sodas and in moderation because of his diet. So thats a lot for him to drink. I was ready to log off at 10 and asked about calling. He said he didnt feel like talking, that he was in his head today. I said Ok. Im learning not to freak out to such responses, Just risidule things from ex since he used silence as a means to punish me for days when we were married.
B said he would call me to say good night. I fell asleep a little after 11, checked the machine and nothing this AM. So yeah I was a little dissapointed.
Came online this AM and found this email….
“Im sorry I havent called yet. It s just after 12 and so far **** hasnt been off the phone since you signed off. ah to compete with a 15 yr old for the phone sure is a losing proposition.
….so I found out that ***** wants me to move out soon.Like in the next Month or 2. shrug, so I am just kinda wrestling with that right now. alot of choices to make and I dont really even know where to begin. Just tough I guess. I dont really feel much like talking about it, but you say that I dont tell you whats going on, so I figure I at least owe you a reason for my silence and introversion right now.
I love you babe. Things are just rough right now. I will let you know when I have something more to say or need some help with this.
Hope you are sleeping well.
Loves ya lots n lots n stuffs.
B”
I was really glad he wrote and told me. He does close off. Hes an introvert and I never know whats going on with him at times and he ends up telling me a week or so later, then everything makes sense. Im not sure why its so difficult for him to say things like that. I can respect his not wanting to talk, its just nice to be told WHAT is going on. Its when a person just shuts down with NO explanation that it gets very trying.
I would love to say I will offer help, but to be honest. I dont want him moving in with me. B can find a place. And if he gets his butt in gear and finds a full time job he could get his own, but that is up to him to deal with. Changes can be good, they can force us re evaluate life and see what we need to do.
I got messaged by 2 old friends online yesterday which was really cool. A friend who travels the US doing bike stunt shows. He is in NM right now. Then I heard from a guy I met at my birthday party ohhh about 5 yrs ago! haha, it was an online party at a Pub. He kept buying me drinks that night and we danced. So he said “Ahhh I see Im too late and you have found someone already, darn!” He was nice and all, just flirty, but Im just not interested, and some people like to feel out the status of your relationship you are in now to see if they can get in on something. I told him I love who Im with thank you.
C, thanks for your letter, yes thats a thought, I need to do something about this.
And still no response from Ex. Attny office did call yest and I faxed the paper from the courts, they sounded confused as to what it was also, not sure if its something from old attny or what.
Thats it for now, Say a prayer for B and his changes ahead and living situation.